Children are now settling back at school after their holidays. Teachers are back from weeks in France, Tuscany, Crete, or wherever. Holidays will be on everyone's minds as they sit - unwillingly - at their desks.
Teachers can easily be tempted to use holiday experiences as part of a lesson: 'Write about your holidays!' It's an opportunity to be 'relevant' and to tap into the children's enthusiasm. I'm not sure it works. It's almost a punishment for having had fun during the vacation. But there are new dangers in this old practice that have come about because of the concern with parental behaviour. This used to be no business of schools. Parents brought up children and schools taught them. Roles and responsibilities are now confused to no one's benefit.
Parents might well be worried if their son or daughter writes something like 'Camping was fun but mummy and daddy kept having rows because my sister has a boyfriend that mummy doesn't like! They woke me up at night and daddy kept going out smoking every ten minutes and the smoke blew into my tent, yuk!' The social workers will be coming round! A worse fate probably awaits one mother - and her children - after she wrote on Facebook that she had 'spent the day at various fine Welsh museums trying to cram a bit of education into the girls before they go back to school.'
There is too much prying into family life that goes far beyond any real concern with child safety - and it certainly isn't educational. Children can get too involved in reporting back to school; and parents may well feel they are being spied upon with questions about what they eat, if they smoke, if they watch too much TV and by demands to allocate specified reading time and even 'quiet moments' with their children. Who knows what they report back to school?
It's time to draw clear boundaries again. A young mother I know is doing just that. She intends to send a note to school with her little girl. It is a 'disclaimer' that reads: 'Please note that anything this child says, or any views she may express, do not necessarily represent the views, opinions or behaviour of her parents or family.' I recommend this 'School Note' to all parents.
Am I being unfair to teachers? I don't think so. They could even learn from this young mother's suggestion. Most teachers will have experienced irate parents coming to school because of their children's' reports about what Mr. X or Ms. Y said about their sweet child! Perhaps teachers could also send a note home to parents saying: 'Whatever this child reports that I said does not necessarily reflect my views or opinions.'
The issue here is not neglecting the 'child's voice' when it comes to things of importance. It's about re-establishing trust between parents and children. This means leaving parents to parent and teachers to teach. These, once clear, roles are breaking down.
When schools are doing things that are the job of parents, it can only lead to more pain and problems for children as their private life is made public. If you think this criticism of prying teachers is an exaggeration, I have a true story for you. A friend tells me his daughter was crying all night and said she didn't want to go to school the next day. After some coaching, she told him why: 'We've got a worry box at school and it's my turn to put my worries in the worry box! But [she sobbed] I haven't got any worries...!'