09/09/2015 06:09 BST | Updated 08/09/2016 06:12 BST

Hoping for a Baby?

Hoping for a baby? Spend some time in your body, that's the best advice I was given.

On average it takes a 30 year old woman seven months to get pregnant, and 82% of women planning a pregnancy will get pregnant after a year, and 90% after 2 years. These stats don't make the wait much easier though? Also personally I wouldn't say that 30 is the average now? My cousin had her first at 46. Some women might spend years trying not to get pregnant, and then all of a sudden appear to spend years trying to get pregnant. It's like a switch, the decision is made and you are ready to start a family. Unfortunately nature doesn't always allow for instant results. Not everyone has children. The overwhelming hopes and daydreams come to a full stop at the end of the month. Its very difficult, it's painful sometimes. It's such a roller-coaster.

I have friends, couples who only need to smile at each other and a baby is on the way. Some who are shocked that they got pregnant so quickly and express feeling underprepared. Meanwhile others have to wait for what feels like an eternity. There are in all honesty so many couples waiting, it's just that they often keep it quiet. Understandably! The reality is that if you study conception (yes, I became an obsessive lady wanting a baby) you will realise that it's quite a tricky obstacle course! It's a chance series of events and to be honest miraculous. Let's not forget optimal conditions are also necessary for mind/body. Also some of us do have medical conditions that mean it's going to take longer to conceive.

Having been told I was highly unlikely to have children due to severe endometriosis, I then went on to have my son, albeit after finding a good surgeon who was prepared to operate. I suspect that being filled with the fear of not being able to conceive didn't hurry things along for me. However, six weeks after starting to meditate every single day I was pregnant. I had been meditating for a while but not daily. The body works efficiently and more at ease when it's not holding fear and tension. Spending so much time in our heads doesn't encourage our bodies to relax and function optimally. Busy hectic lives and chaotic minds are not ideal for conception - and that's for either party!

It's a good time to start living in the body in its entirety, not just the mind. Practice body scan meditation, go for a massage, have acupuncture, engage with tensions in the body - just noticing them often makes a difference, don't try to change them, that creates more tension. Explore any tensions or emotions, for example do they have a shape or colour, where do they reside in the body. Being with exactly what is going on for you encourages it to shift and change. Allow emotion to flow when you can, don't let it get trapped in your body. Work towards being kind to yourself.

Being compassionate towards yourself by engaging in meditation and mindfulness can help the body to be tip top, to encourage conception. It will also help to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. Some women may need help to conceive, but being bodily aware will absolutely help. Working with how you feel at each moment as frequently as you can keeps you from harbouring as many tensions. It's not an easy journey, it's so tough I do understand.