THE BLOG
03/12/2013 07:44 GMT | Updated 01/02/2014 05:59 GMT

How to Meet People and Make Friends (or Not!)

You know how it goes, you're sat having brunch with you friend, talking about boys and why you're still single, despite being 'hot stuff', and debating whether or not you actually even want a guy in your life right now, and all of a sudden, the friend throws a huge heffalump of a punch at you.

OK, not a real heffalump of a punch, but for all intent and purposes, let's just say my friend pulled a whopping great big baseball bat out of his back pocket and whacked me over the head with it. Maybe that's a bit violent. Maybe one of those foam mallets or the giant foam hands you see on TV. Yes. Let's go with one of them.

Anyhoo, so my friend, meaning well as always, turns to me and says, 'you know your problem Emma, you look for faults in guys before looking for the stuff that could make you happy.'

So, as you guys know, I have an ongoing internal battle with optimism. I wanted to write here that it doesn't like me very much. But as that wouldn't be very positive of me, I'd instead like to say that I have a natural inclination to assume that with good comes bad; that there is a natural balance in life and that you should enjoy every moment you can, but recognise that sometimes bad things happen, and try not to get too upset about it.

The thing that struck me is that I've never considered my general outlook on life in relation to potential mates (how biological) boyfriends. So as I sat eating my scrambled eggs on toasted foccacia with grilled tomatoes - OMG I LOVE BRUNCH - I thought about whether this was true or not.

Now, just to give you a bit of background, the friend in question is a bit of a man whoe. I don't think he reads my blog but even if he did I'm sure he wouldn't mind me saying that. He loves men and he loves life and he makes the most of both. What's really interesting is that when we're together, I'll be concentrating on the deliciousness of the eggs I'm eating, and he'll pipe up roughly once every five minutes with, 'Em, that guy's checking you out'. Now, I'm the first to admit that I don't consider myself anything special to look at, but when I'm with him I feel like I'm sat in Carluccios in a fricking bikini with a sign on my tits reading 'Hello Boys!'.

For the record, I never notice ANYONE giving me a second glance when I'm on my own, but since he's pointing them out, why not look?

And as our eyes met through the steamy window of the restaurant, out on to the crowded street, there was a spark of electricity in the air and all at once my heart skipped a beat.

Yeah right.

What actually happened, is that the moment I looked, I found something wrong with them. It didn't matter what; wrong shoes/clothes/hair, too short, looked at me weird......

No matter what, there was something. If nothing sprung to mind it was the simple fact that they were outside and I was inside and I'd never see them again.

So, over the past couple of weeks I've been testing myself. I've been putting myself out there more, making eye contact with strangers - SHOCK HORROR - and no, I haven't managed it on the underground yet (anyone who lives in London understands that at no point do you EVER talk to or make eye contact with anyone on the tube, for fear of instant beheading) - and generally finding one good feature about people before I jump to any negatives.

I can't tell you if this will change me fundamentally for ever and ever as a person or whether it will just open my eyes a bit more to peoples' humanity and reduce my own insecure need to 'not put myself out there' for fear of rejection, but I have noticed that I've made a lot more friends in the past couple of weeks.

I dare you to befriend a stranger this week (in the safety of a public space - please people) and see what happens!