It may be the most wonderful time of the year if you are a child anticipating gifts and entertainment. But if you’re a parent sweating backstage to make all that magic happen, the ramp up to the holidays can be downright stressful.
For many parents, having to dream up a clever new spot for a toy elf every single night between Thanksgiving and Christmas ranks high on the list of things we didn’t realise we had signed up for.
Here, some social media’s funniest parents get real about how a little doll in a pointy red hat can supply a great weight of expectation.
My 6 year old wanted to tell me something but was adamant she couldn't say it in our house.
— April Ajoy (@aprilajoyr) December 23, 2022
So we get in the car and she says:
"Mommy, I don't think Santa is real but I didn't want to say it in front of Cheeks because it would upset him."
Cheeks is our Elf on the Shelf.
No one told me that when I agreed to elf on the fuckin shelf this year my kids would demand pictures of what it's been up to while they're at their dad's house. That's 50% more work than I agreed to and 100% more than I want.
— Fran (@whingewine) December 10, 2023
so let me make sure i've got this straight - the elf on the shelf is constantly watching the children to make sure they don't do anything bad...but the elf hops off the shelf and fucks shit up around your house? i'm supposed to look at them as an elf of integrity?
— Two Time Emmy Winner Ali B (@wtflanksteak) December 6, 2023
Apologies to my job, my side projects, and any other creative endeavors…
— ADHD Jesse (@adhdjesse) December 12, 2022
All my creativity for December is dedicated to figuring out what to do with this stupid elf-on-the-shelf every single night.
I bought my 4yo a set of Christmas PJs that make her look like an elf bc I thought it would be funny.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) December 2, 2019
Turns out the jokes on me bc when she came and stood silently in my room staring at me at 3am last night, I legit freaked out thinking that damn Elf on a Shelf came alive.
im just a mom
— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) December 6, 2022
standing in front of the elf
asking him to find his own new hiding spot tonight
I am so sick of elf on the shelf. The other day I stole one of my daughter’s crackers and she looked at the elf and said “you saw that right??”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 6, 2023
The first rule of Elf on the Shelf is don’t tell my kid about Elf on the Shelf
— kidversations (@kidversations_) December 22, 2022
A parent messaged me to ask if I would let her son bring his elf to school because they were having trouble remembering to move it at home and maybe I would be able to do it.
— KD 📚🌎🌊🇺🇸🟧 (@kdnerak33) December 8, 2023
Ummm, no.
Got naked in front of my daughter’s elf on the shelf and it felt wrong.
— 𝐀 𝐌 𝐀 𝐍 𝐃 𝐀 (@littlegiinge) December 2, 2023
Moved the elf last night but then made a last minute location change.
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) November 26, 2023
Forgot I did that this morning and for just a *brief second* the little kid inside of me was like…ᴰᶦᵈ ᶦᵗ ᵐᵒᵛᵉ…ᵇʸ ᶦᵗˢᵉˡᶠˀ
My mom bought an elf on the shelf as a surprise for my kids because she obviously hates me & wants me to die.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 24, 2017
7: Mom, why can’t we get an elf on a shelf? I want one 🥺
— Rae Kennedy (@raekennedy_) December 8, 2022
Me: We can’t just go get one, the elf has to choose us. Sorry 🤷🏻♀️
Parents who do elf on the shelf stuff are terrifying, was this time of year too easy for you and you had to add another thing
— well hung mum (@MILFMUNNEE) December 4, 2023
You know what’s sweatier than sweating out a bet?
— JJ Gruden (@TakingThePoint5) December 5, 2023
Waking up in the middle of the night realizing you didn’t move the elf on the shelf for your kids.
I want the name of the person who brought elf on the shelf to Ireland.
— Eamon Mc Gee (@EamonMcGee) December 3, 2023
For the next 20+ days I curse you with every fibre of my being.
My wife passed our retired Elf on the Shelf down to her cousin like a festively cursed monkey paw.
— Stone (@StoneAgeRadio13) December 13, 2022
Day 9 of the “elf on the shelf” at our house may just be a note saying “I like this particular spot a lot. So I’m going g to stay in this same spot until Christmas. Good morning.
— Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 (@patterballs) December 8, 2023
It’s 9:38 pm and have you moved your kids elf on the shelf for tomorrow?
— nathan followill (@doctorfollowill) December 11, 2023
So Elf on a Shelf got invented because some kid was like, "There's no way Santa can see ALL the bad things EVERY kid does," and a grownup was like, "Of course not! Every totalitarian surveillance regime is built on the foundation of numerous unpaid, willing collaborators." Right?
— Dígame Concejal (@RSGAT) December 23, 2022
3yo: "Mommy, why doesn't Lucy do anything?"
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) December 3, 2018
My daughter talking about our Elf on the Shelf, who hasn't done anything but lay sideways on the shelf since she came from the North Pole.
I wish this Elf on the Shelf in my house would enter the transfer portal. I have no creativity left.
— Jukebox anONymous (@PittmanJukebox) December 9, 2023
Elf on the Shelf really is the most American thing ever.
— kevin nye (@kevinmnye1) December 7, 2023
Like, we really have no imagination for addressing behavior outside of punishment that we will literally take the most joyous time of the year and install a police officer in our house.
All I'm saying is if the Elf on a Shelf died in a tragic sleigh accident I wouldn't be sad
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) December 19, 2022
Kids: “So today the elf-“
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 1, 2018
Me: “NO.”
-How every morning starts until Dec. 26.
5: why don’t we have an elf-on-the-shelf?
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) November 28, 2023
me: oh honey, it’s not that we don’t love you, it’s just that we don’t hate ourselves
I’d like a word with the @elfontheshelf team because my son now gets up at 5am instead of 7am to find the f*ing elf.
— Amanda Goetz (@AmandaMGoetz) December 6, 2023
Not cool.
It’s almost that time of the year where I don’t care where your kid found the Elf on the Shelf every morning.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 28, 2023
My daughter’s friend came over and saw our Elf lazily hanging from a lamp and said “This morning our Elf drew a picture of another Elf on the window with shaving cream” and I was all “OH YOUR ELF IS VERY CREATIVE ISN’T HE”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 11, 2023
I don’t want to see pics of well planned out elf on the shelf ideas. I want to see you just woke up, you forgot to move the elf, and your kid is coming down the stairs ideas.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) December 9, 2022
so how do i go about getting a christmas miracle where the elf and santa are real so i don’t actually have to do all the work
— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) December 23, 2022
is there a service to text me and remind me to move my Elf on the Shelf? my kid thinks our Elf is lazy 😆
— debdeb 🧙🏻♀️ (@debdeb) December 4, 2023
Between balancing returning to training postpartum, pumping breast milk, raising a 10 week old and juggling our 8 and 9 year-old sports and school schedules, I’m most proud of remembering to move Elf on the Shelf each night.
— Stephanie Bruce (@Steph_Rothstein) December 5, 2023
The creator of Elf on the Shelf is sipping cocktails on a beach somewhere while we all stress out over where to move the damn thing every night
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 6, 2023
Thought we were in the clear until my kid came home from school and said the 5 scariest words you can hear in December, "can we get an elf"
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 6, 2023
I’m so amused by the moms asking in the FB buy/sell groups if anyone has an elf they’re offloading. On one hand, you have the mom that couldn’t get to the elf until mid-December but still wants to try, and on the other you have the mom who is sick of this shit one week in.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) December 9, 2023
My 6-year-old just told me, “I hope we never do Elf on the Shelf” and I’m like, done.
— Lindsay Fickas (@lindsayfickas) November 30, 2023
Of all my parenting mistakes, the elf on the shelf is the one I most regret.
— James Levine (@JamesHSLevine) December 7, 2023
I keep forgetting to move “jingles” our elf on a shelf and the kids are like “he’s lazy today”…..😂😂 nah, his MOVER is lazy today lmfao I’m crying!!
— Jennifer Slay💛✨ (@jennwilliams23) December 24, 2022
me:what would you do if an elf on the shelf showed up in our house?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 10, 2022
9: I'd set it on fire
me: correct. We're a no elf on the shelf family.
I thought I was having a bad morning & then remembered that some people have to wake up with that Elf on the Shelf.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 9, 2022
What about an elf on the shelf for adults where instead of causing chaos the elf does your laundry or cleans your oven
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) December 21, 2022
I made it through parenting without waking up in the middle of the night in a panic to make a stuffed elf do stupid shit on a shelf. I feel like this is a brag.
— Queen Beast 🐝🔥 (@my_hive_away) December 6, 2023
This “Elf on the Shelf” thing is a pain in the ass… That’s it, that’s the tweet. #ElfOnTheShelf
— Dad@Home (@Dad_at_Home_) December 8, 2023