Brenda Edwards has given her first interview since the tragic death of her son Jamal Edwards earlier this year.
Jamal, who helped launch the careers of Stormzy, Dave, Ed Sheeran and Jessie J through his SB.TV music platform, died in February at the age of 31.
The Loose Women star says she is “taking each day as it comes” following Jamal’s sudden passing and revealed she was by his side when he died.
Speaking to her fellow Loose Women panellist Coleen Nolan at her home in Cheshire, Brenda also spoke of her determination to keep Jamal’s legacy alive.
“I’m doing okay,” Brenda began. “The way I’m looking at it - I’m taking each day as it comes.
“The one thing that I do want to say is I was with him and his sister was with us, we were all at home. It was sudden and it was unexpected and he went into cardiac arrest. Then he passed with me holding his hand, so I get a little bit of comfort from knowing I was with him.”
Brenda added, “As much as that is comfort, at the same time, it’s a vision that I’m never going to forget. When I wake up every morning – all of his photos are still obviously in the house – and I look at him and say, ‘Good morning, baby’ and ‘Good night, baby’. And I think doing that is what’s keeping me going.
“He always had this lovely, bright smile, just used to light up. He had this funny laugh. I feel his presence constantly and I know I’ve always been somebody who has faith and who believes in that and that has been a massive comfort to me.”
Speaking about Jamal’s funeral, which Brenda called a ‘homegoing’, Brenda said: “When we laid him to rest, it was really beautiful. We looked up into the sky and there was a J – the clouds had formed a J. A friend took a picture of it.”
Brenda also revealed she’s set up the Jamal Edwards Self Belief Trust in Jamal’s memory.
“It’s been set up with two main things in mind,” Brenda explained.
“Jamal was all about empowering young people. We want to set up an academy for 16-21 year olds, giving them an internship if you like, within an organisation over a period of a year, where they learn everything from the ground up. And then we’re also looking to set up a homeless sanctuary.”
Brenda said of Jamal’s legacy, “He said, ‘We all die, the goal is not to live forever but to create something that will.’ And I believe he has created something that will and I’m determined to make sure that it will. That’s my goal.”
Brenda – who returns to Loose Women on Tuesday – also praised her colleagues for their support.
“It was funny, everybody’s like, ‘What can I do?’ I had Judi and Charlene wanting to bring food round. I had food coming from all angles.
“It has been great having the ladies there and that’s something which has been a big part of my life and the kids’ lives that I need to return… I’ve missed everyone. I thank you for supporting and being there at the end of the phone for me.”
Loose Women airs weekdays at 12pm on ITV.