“On 5 June 1989, my little world blacked over and nothing was to be the same again...”
I never knew when I spoke these words in the House of Commons Chamber 31 months ago that they would be the start of something so momentous. I never knew just how much of myself I would have to give, how many tears I would have to cry, to get to where we are today.
But every tear I have shed, every question I have asked and every delay I have had to deal with have made me stronger and more determined to carry on the fight.
And that is why I am so pleased and proud that the government will finally be implementing the Children’s Funeral Fund in England later this month.
Thirty years ago I faced every parent’s worst nightmare when my eight-year-old son went out to play with his friends and never came home.
Martin was a typical little boy. He was bright and bubbly and full of mischief. He bought joy to my life and made me proud every day. His death broke me but, I believe, it also bought me to where I am today.
It’s hard to even put into words the utter devastation you feel when your child dies. The guilt eats away at you, the hopelessness is like a dark empty hole in the very core of your being and you feel like you will never know happiness again.
Time doesn’t heal. Life doesn’t go back to how it was before. You just eventually learn to live with a new normal - a normal that you never wanted.
When I was first elected as Member of Parliament for Swansea East in May 2015, I knew that this privileged position bought with it a responsibility. I knew I had to use my voice to help those who weren’t in a position to use their own.
And that is why I stood up two and half years ago and relived my darkest days. I knew that, like my husband and I all those years ago, there were parents now, grieving for a little boy or girl they would never get to see grow up. Families who were struggling to afford the final gift of a dignified funeral.
No parent should face the uncertainty of debt when their world has already been ripped apart. And that is why I asked the government to introduce a Children’s Funeral Fund – to offer a glimmer of light and ensure every bereaved family could bury their child without the burden of finding the money to pay for it.
It has been 15 months since the Prime Minister announced that England would be following the example of the rest of the United Kingdom and introducing a fund. If I’m honest, I expected it to be implemented much sooner than this and there have been days where I have felt like it would never happen. That said, I would like to thank all of the civil servants at the Ministry of Justice who have worked tirelessly on this in recent months and the minister, Edward Argar, who has shown me nothing but respect and kept me continually updated on its progress.
It is a bittersweet feeling knowing that we are within touching distance of the fund being implemented. Whilst I am overjoyed that bereaved families will finally have the financial support they need, it breaks my heart that anyone should ever have to bury their baby.
Thirty years on, I still miss my little boy. My heart aches for the memories we were never able to make and I grieve for the man he never got to be. But I am so proud that this fund will be his legacy and that bereaved families in future will benefit from it.
Carolyn Harris is the Labour MP for Swansea East