To rectify the matter, women have been sharing some of the “compliments” they regularly receive that may be well-meaning, but are actually seriously insulting.
Guys, listen and learn.
1. “Any compliment that follows the ‘you sure are x for a y’. Such as, ‘you sure are pretty for a woman your age’, or ‘you sure are smart for a girl.’ Just bad form all round.
2. “Takes off glasses to clean them: ‘You look pretty without glasses’. I appreciate being called pretty but I need my glasses to see.”
3. “Men who feel the need to point out how big my tits are. A guy that I saw around campus DMed (direct messaged) me on Instagram and said: ‘Just thought you should know, you have some really big boobs.’ No shit, they aren’t on my chest or anything.”
4. “’You look way better with your hair straightened’. It hurts because it’s like thanks, I only get compliments when I put two hours into my hair.”
5. “I’m a redhead. Really sick of guys telling me they’re ‘super into redheads’ or ‘I only date redheads’. Way to make me feel like that’s the only thing that matters about me for you.”
6. “’You’re hot for an Asian’ and ‘I’ve always wanted to get with an Asian’. 1) Didn’t know Asians were universally ugly and that I’m an exception. 2) Thanks for reducing me to a check mark on your bucket list.”
7. “’Aw babe, why don’t you smile? I bet you look beautiful when you smile.’ No no no!!”
8. “I’ve had guys tell me they wanted to date me because I’m ‘not like other girls’. I understand their intent was that they think I have a unique personality and that’s cool. But saying they want to be with me because I’m ‘not like other girls’ feels a lot like they just don’t enjoy hanging out with women in general, and it makes me wonder why they’ve written off an entire gender as people they don’t particularly find interesting or fun to be around.”
9. “After a woman does something really badass or something that demonstrates how smart she is...don’t immediately complement her looks, it’s not as nice as you may mean it to be.”
10. “Anything to do with my weight. Got diagnosed with celiac earlier this year and I lost a ton of weight. I was just blown away by how many men I knew told me how great I looked suddenly when I was quite literally starving and malnourished.”
11. “Men who call me ‘exotic’ and expect me like it. It turns me off so much. The immediate sexualisation of my ethnicity drives me up the wall.”