Until very recently, domestic abuse was considered to be a private matter. Women trapped in abusive relationships suffered behind closed doors. They knew all too well that, no matter how violent the incident, nobody was coming to their aid. It was ‘just a domestic’. Not a matter for the police, and certainly not a matter for the neighbours to intervene in.
Now, thankfully, after decades of campaigning by Women’s Aid and others, this response is no longer acceptable. We know that, on average, one woman is killed by a male partner or ex-partner in the UK every four days. We know that domestic abuse costs the nation £66billion per year. We know it destroys lives and causes long-lasting trauma.
While there is still room for improvement in police responses to domestic abuse, on the whole, we have seen great progress in recent years. At Women’s Aid we have worked with police forces across the country to strengthen their response to domestic abuse. However, the police can only investigate when the public report domestic disturbances to them, and we all have a responsibility to do so. Only one in five women will report their domestic abuse to the police.
Over the past weekend, reporting a suspected domestic disturbance to the police has been questioned, and comments have been made relating to neighbours intruding on a ‘private row’. It feels like we’re stepping back in time to the days when the only acceptable response was to look the other way.
Regardless of whether this is or isn’t a domestic abuse case, it is always better to call the police and let them investigate, than ignore warning signs and potentially leave a woman in danger. It could be the difference between life and death.
It is disappointing that, in 2019, we still have to have this debate. It shows that we have a long way to go in raising awareness of domestic abuse and understanding that everyone has a role to play. People often feel that they should not intervene in what are viewed as ‘passionate’ relationships, but domestic abuse happens every day in relationships where no one suspects it could ever possibly happen.
At Women’s Aid, we know that members of the public often don’t know what to do if they suspect someone may be experiencing domestic abuse. To address this, we created our Change That Lasts ‘Ask Me’ scheme. We train Community Ambassadors to create safe spaces in their community where survivors can talk about their experiences. Our Ambassadors also signpost to local domestic abuse services and, crucially, teach members of the public how to respond if they suspect someone in their community is at risk.
Most importantly, remember that everyone in our society has a vital role to play in ending domestic abuse. Whether it is supporting our work or calling the police if you hear something that you are worried about, together we can make a difference. Help us to raise awareness of this often hidden crime, and always call the police if you are concerned about someone’s safety.
Adina Claire is Co-Chief Executive of Women’s Aid
You can find out more about Change That Lasts and the ‘Ask Me’ scheme at womensaid.org.uk. You can find out more about the #BillforSurvivors campaign here for a robust domestic abuse bill or making a donation.