Let's begin unpacking this sex-toy story...
I know some of you remain sceptical and uncomfortable about the notion of sex toys. I adore seeing the faces of people who walk into my practice and ask for the Dr Eve Store. Some look like deer in the headlights: exposed and vulnerable, while others are playful –– just looking at the products fills them with glee.
I think it is brave to purchase a sex toy; especially as, in my sex store, you have to actually talk about "sex" –– specifically, your own sexuality.
My assistant and I will ask you penetrating questions, to ensure that you get the kind of product that really matches your current sexual desire.
If you are there with a partner, it may be the first time that you actually verbalise your sexual desires. I'm thinking about the man who confidently requested a vaginal vibrator for his partner. I pulled out my current favourite, namely Wonderlust Serenity, and saw her face drop.
She was eyeing the clitoral vibrators, of course. She knew she needed clitoral stimulation to become orgasmic. So I grabbed my top-of-the-range, best-of-all-time clitoral vibe –– namely, the brand-new Womaniser 2Go vibe.
This lipstick-shaped vibe is a vacuum-pump device -- merely place it in your vulva and lie back as its suction arouses your clitoral area. He got a quick lesson on female orgasms, too...
I sell a product called Zestra. It is a clitoral stimulant. This is for the woman who has sluggish orgasms, no orgasms, or low interest in sexuality. Placing a drop of this clinically tested stimulant on your clitoral area engorges, lubricates and awakens sexual interest.
Take the pressure off yourself and a partner -- sex toys bring you a low-pressure environment.
I think grabbing a bottle of Zestra, or a more budget-friendly stimulant like System Jo Atomic Clitoral Stimulation Gel, is a gentle and sensitive way of letting your partner know that you really would love more arousing touches.
As a man, how do you tell a woman that you want anal play? Of course –– buy an anal sex toy!
The top of the range toy here is the We Vibe Ditto. It's sophisticated, with a remote control, and it vibrates –– which helps relax the anus so that it expands. Of course, it should not be used without the necessary anal lube, and I recommend the fabulousSystem Jo Anal Premium Warming.
For example, "My penis can't do the job, if she wants a toy". Or, "I'll become addicted to the toy". And even, "I'll be replaced by her toys".
The fact is that toys are add-ons, and in certain circumstances really necessary.
In summary, sex toys are IT.
My top reasons clients should use sex toys:
- Toys are top-class sexual accessories, not purple and pink jelly-made junk. In line with cutting-edge technology, sex toys fall into the realm of virtual reality, to match your lifestyle –– which is busy, long-distance and contains no time for bedtime sex.
- The top-selling toys this season are remotely controlled via mobile apps. My favourites are by We Vibe, namely We Vibe Gala, which is a just fantastic clitoral-fit vibe, and then the fabulous We Vibe Jive, which I predict will be the best-selling couples' toy this season. A woman wears it -- inserts one end into her vagina, the other end wraps around her clitoral area, and she hands over the remote to her partner. Or he/she can be anywhere in the world... and turn her on from an app.
- You're bored. Of course. You live in a world of FOMO, so sex toys get you out of your state of ennui, off porn sites and into bed with a real-life person. Try watching your partner use a Flashlight to masturbate himself next to you... why not? Fleshlight is the best male masturbator, of course.
- Want some kinkiness without having your partner think you're weird? Place a silicone penis sleeve over your penis. Imagine you are large, hard and having a rough-riding sexual experience.
- Afraid to let on that your ageing has resulted in a penis that isn't as hard as it once was? Visit your urologist for a checkup. And use a silicone cock ring. It will keep you hard, make you last longer and give you added sexual confidence.
- Take the pressure off yourself and a partner. High expectations result in anxiety, which causes sexual dysfunctions such as early ejaculation, no orgasms for women, and eventually, low desire to be sexual. Sex toys bring you a low-pressure environment. Just knowing that the vibe will bring her to orgasm will allow you to focus on your own arousal and pleasure. For example, while thrusting you could let her use a precious new bullet vibe, Screaming O Voom, at the same time
In summary, sex toys are IT. Get one for every female member of your family. You will be the hit of the season!
Go see my new website, just launched, for your Christmas pleasure and entertainment.