The women of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time? You may be entitled to condensation.
— czarcasm (@triniliciousd) January 11, 2022
this year I’m doing why January. it’s where every day I stand in the street and scream “WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?”
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) January 13, 2022
Baby let’s play doctor. I’ll go first. You owe me $3200.
— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) January 8, 2022
I WANT NERVOUS CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/7GfbTNvhJ5
— natasha allegri (@natazilla) January 10, 2022
My husband will stand in the middle of the living room, watching my show that he says, “is dumb” for 30 minutes. Then hits me with, “What’s going on? She’s dating this guy now?”.
— ↞𝙱𝚕𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚢↠ (@BlkSoulBeauty) January 8, 2022
“It’s 9am somewhere” -me having my first sip of water at 2pm
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) January 12, 2022
Hey! You know what! In 2022 I am using exclamation points at the end of every email sentence! I don’t care if it looks like I’m unhinged! I am! Warmest regards!!!
— Kait Feldmann (@kaitfeldmann) January 10, 2022
Parents are like "You left a gently used paper towel in your room over christmas. Do you need that? Want me to mail it?"
— Rachel McCartney (@RachelMComedy) January 9, 2022
oh good the mail's here, can't wait to open 50 different envelopes from my bank stuffed with 75 pages each saying "thank you for going paperless"
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 9, 2022
My main problem with dating apps is I’m pitching a product I don’t really believe in
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) January 8, 2022
i was like “ive been on the verge of tears all day” and my bf was like “verge of tears? you’ve cried twice.”
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) January 11, 2022
do u think when penguins slide on their bellies it’s like fun and thrilling for them or is it the equivalent of like us driving a car
— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) January 8, 2022
I’ve really been “I just need to get through this week”ing for two years straight
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) January 10, 2022
Anybody else be in they mask
— jadda (@Jayy_T_) January 8, 2022
“😦😗😦😗😦😗😦😗” trying to pull it up
when i randomly remember one of my shirts i haven’t seen in a while pic.twitter.com/ZCilS5wkaL
— 69💎 (@wofai_xo) January 10, 2022
When “intermission” pops up in an old movie I start crying :) they used to love us. they wanted to let me pee. They dont care about me at all now. They think I deserve a uti
— Natalie Walker (@nwalks) January 8, 2022
knitting is basically 3d printing with your bare hands, pretty metal
— Jenna Sauers (@jennasauers) January 9, 2022
using the leftover oat milk from my cereal in my coffee pic.twitter.com/BoxitTWtvl
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) January 12, 2022
i’ll post a selfie looking the best i’ve ever looked and someone will be like “thank you for promoting REALISTIC beauty standards”
— gabbi “gabbi boyd” boyd (@GabbiBoyd) January 9, 2022
I want my COVID test to tell me who gave it to me.
— Ophira Eisenberg (@OphiraE) January 11, 2022
Names! I want names.