What a summer! One unpleasant piece of news after the other. In an attempt to lift my mood and restore my faith in humanity, I determined to sit and write something positive. That was before some well-meaning individual thrust an article about Rick Perry in my face. Needless to say, curiosity got the better of me. Rick Perry, Rick Perry? I had managed to escape knowing who he was up until now, dodging news, (as I have been) for sanity's sake.
His name was vaguely familiar. I nursed the vain hope that he was related to one of the already famous -yet relatively harmless- Perrys, Katie or Luke. No such luck. Instead behold yet another spectre of death and destruction. Oh Obama, why did you have to be a sell-out? Perhaps 2012 will be the year after all. I can't afford a trip to the moon, so I better start digging.
But let's not go there. Light! Light! Remember? Which preoccupation brings me to gurus. Gurus are annoying, aren't they? They invent one catch phrase and are set for life. Take Eckhart Tolle for instance, and his bestseller The Power of Now. I owe this gentleman a lot: about one month's worth of serenity in fact. After reading his book I switched off my phone and cut off social contact for a month. It was one of the happiest times of my life.
Happy, yet totally unsustainable. It is easy to brush off pain as an illusion of the ego when you have the luxury to lose yourself in daydreaming. Not so easy once contact with the outside world is re-established and an influx of Reality smacks you hard in the face. No amount of clutching to the Little Green Book was able to convince me that actually in the 'now' there is never ever ever any pain at all. Weeeeeeeeee! In fact I would very much like to watch Mr Tolle lecturing Somali refugees on how dying of hunger is really only an illusion of their ego. No, I would not. I cannot think of their fate without cursing the Dogs of War who are responsible. Responsible, and yet as always unaccountable. What a sick world!
Anyway, back to light! Where were we? Next, we have Steve Pavlina. This gentleman has an interesting website which I chanced upon. His posts bear titles such as "Ten reasons why you should never get a job". I was obviously immediately drawn to his philosophy. It is impossible not to want to buy into the idea that you can live off writing a blog. I sat for hours in front of my computer screen- mostly in tears as I hate computers- before giving up, overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. Not only had I failed to be worthy of Steve's message of enlightenment, but I had not availed myself of a fantastic means of escape.
On the career side, alternatives to being a guru are really awful. The whole process of applying for jobs is filthy and soul destroying. I am personally sick to death of formulating answers to questions such as 'Why did you choose us?' or 'Why do you want to be a banker/lawyer/etc?'
Nothing gets me more into subversive mode than rubbish of that order. You are expected to lie, of course. 'This job will allow me to fulfil my life long ambition of surviving as opposed to destitution and/or suicide' will probably not get you very much further than the Front Door, and a mention on The List where the lively are branded Unreliable.
Anyone who puts up with the tedium of the UN's centralized application system deserves a job there. It ought to be illegal to torture people into bored submission in this way. Those above the age of 50 have experienced the luxury of having had a youth. As a result they really have no idea what we have to go through. Try being in your 20s these days. There is no Youth left to speak of. That everyone of my generation is dull, is a matter of course. It's depressing, but we have no choice. We are like highly trained circus animals. Even in our time off we jump through hoops and beg our masters for the odd biscuit. We resemble horses that are confined too long in small spaces: neurotic and full of tics. I have rarely seen anything more revolting than young graduates networking. Beady-eyed and sweating, they hover around parties like ghosts, their hands all clammy with anticipation.
Youth these days is not only depressing, it is also dogmatic. A group of Parisian students with whom I nurtured a desultory acquaintanceship, come to mind. Under the influence of something dangerous called a life force, I suggested that all conversation, no matter how demure, involved an element of seduction, which was why conversation was so enjoyable. No biggie, you would think. A silly throw away line. Yet they gasped. I could have sworn the more righteous started doubting whether I had a soul. Things only got worse when I tried to introduce them to Flippancy (un concept Anglais ?). They were not having any of it. They trembled indignantly. Excommunication followed shortly after. But not before a very lengthy Inquisition, during which I was stripped of the comforting illusion that they were more than acquaintances. Good riddance to the dull!
Oh dear. This hasn't turned out to be the light-hearted piece about something-frivolous-and-uplifting that I was hoping for it to be. Gurus are dull too. Next time I'm definitely going for Perry.