Sex, we’re all doing it, thinking about it, some of us are even Googling it for advice.
However, some of us are shy to start a conversation about sex. Hims & Hers recently published ‘Let’s Talk About Sex: The 2023 UK Report’, found that 23% of women aren’t having sex compared to 18% of men. Although this doesn’t seem like a big number, the reality is is that women hit a sexual glass ceiling as they age.
And no, it’s not because of hot flashes – the study of over 3500 Brits found that 80% of women who are 45+ and aren’t having sex are far from happy about it.
Most of us think everyone else is having more sex than us. But, 21% of Brits haven’t had sex in the past month, but 98% of us assume everyone else has. It seems that the economic and political shifts in the UK have had a far-reaching impact on Brits’ lives – including their sex lives.
People in the UK are pulling back on anything that further complicates, or adds cost to, their lives, including dating and sex.
In fact, more than 13% have quit pursuing sexual relationships altogether because it’s just too much to deal with everything going on. Interestingly, the report found that women’s sex lives slow way down in their 40s and 50s, but not by choice.
Women under 45 report having about the same amount of sex as men are having however, the sex gap between women and men widens dramatically as women reach their midlife, with Hims & Hers calling it the ‘midlife sexual glass ceiling’.
So, how can women break through the midlife glass sexual ceiling? Dr. Jessica Yu - Senior Director of Patience Experience shares how women in their 50s can embrace sex into their midlife and beyond, particularly if their libido is low.
Identify and reduce stress
Increased stress has a direct correlation with sex drive, as it can effect you both psychologically and physically. There are however ways you can approach treating stress, such as giving yourself an outlet, like yoga, which can lead to lowering the levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
Exercise is important in lessening the severity of your stress-related symptoms by producing endorphins which in turn can improve your mood.
Drop unhealthy habits
Habits such as excessive smoking and drinking are harmful to your sex drive and can lead to you feeling less interested in sex than normal. For example, smoking can reduce feelings of arousal by affecting blood flow and increasing feelings of anxiety and tension.
While you don’t need to eradicate things like alcohol, taking steps to limit or drop these may improve your sex drive (and general quality of life).
Focusing on relationship improvement
If you and your partner have been together for a while, it’s normal for your sex drive to ebb and flow. To address this, try taking steps to improve your relationship with your partner - this could be through spending more time together or letting them know how much you care.
Regularly check your health
As you age, the likelihood of health complications increases. While sex can have positive effects on health (one study found that rewarding sexual relationships can have a positive effect on women’s cardiovascular health), it’s important that you stay on top of your health when you’re sexually active.
Talk with your healthcare provider to see if you’re healthy enough for sex and what level of sexual activity is safe for you — especially if you have a history of cardiovascular problems like heart disease.
Keep it simple
If you are feeling overwhelmed with the expectations of sex, it can help to take a step back and do what feels natural and don’t put pressure on yourself.