Do you believe in the 90-day rule? You know the rule that states you should wait 90 days before sleeping with someone? How about the third date rule? What about just letting yourself be free by having sex on the first date?
Getting it in on the first date may seem quick for some, but for others, it feels completely normal.
Sexual wellness brand Lovehoney surveyed over 2,000 adults to investigate how many of us have had sex on the first date, and why we are – or aren’t – open to it.
Unsurprisingly, over 70% of men are open to sex on the first date, but 61% of women are not.
Nearly half of the respondents to Lovehoney’s survey said that they have had sex on date number one. Men are particularly prone to a first-date hookup, with just under 60% of male respondents admitting to having done this.
Women, on the other hand, are slightly less inclined to jump into bed right away, with only 43% having had sex on the first date.
Given that women have generally received more judgment throughout history for being sexually active, it’s not surprising that they may want to wait longer before having sex.
Though there’s still some stigma around having sex on the first date, it really shouldn’t be that taboo.
“Sex on the first date can be beneficial if you want to have sex on the first date. Here’s the thing – there is no “right time” to have sex. And I’m talking about sex with the definition of “a meaningful experience of pleasure,” Relationship, Sex & Mental Health Therapist, Rachel Wright (MA, LFMT) says.
“The concepts of ‘don’t give away the milk for free’ and ‘they won’t like me anymore if I give it up too quickly’ are old and antiquated and can create so much shame for people of all genders,” Wright adds.
According to the pro, some people need an emotional connection in order to have sex, while for others it can be helpful in deciding whether to go for date number two with someone.
Among those surveyed who said they’ve never had sex on a first date, the most common reason (47%) was that they don’t feel comfortable having sex with someone they don’t know very well.
The most important thing, says Wright, is that wherever you fall on this spectrum it’s completely fine and you should talk about your preferences with a potential partner.
“If you’ve been texting for 2 days before the date, perhaps it may not come up – but if you have been texting for 2 months and trying to schedule a date and it’s finally happening, you may have already discussed sex,” she addes.
“Be honest with yourself and the person you’re going out with about your expectations of yourself and them.”