Is Scheduling Sex The Key To A Happy Relationship?

Is it time to book your partner in for a quickie?
Must've been a diary clash...
Vladimir Vladimirov via Getty Images
Must've been a diary clash...

At the start of a relationship, most people are having sex like rabbits. The sexual tension is high, you’re learning about your partner’s sexual desires and more importantly, you’re just having fun.

However, as months or years go by the sexual fire can start to fizzle it out.

Life gets busier, and jobs become more demanding, you start to have kids and your sex life eventually becomes a myth. You might even get to the point where you don’t remember the last time you had sex.

What can be done at this point? Should you avoid having sex altogether? Or could you benefit from scheduling a sexy session?

Jaclyn Gibson has been scheduling sex with her husband, Seth for the past five years.

“We heard the idea of scheduling sex at a marriage retreat when we were engaged. We never thought anything of it, but once we experienced what so many married couples experience, we revisited the idea. Seth brought it up to me and at first, I was so against it. I thought it would just take every ounce of romance out of it and just completely make sex a chore,” Gibson told Newsweek.

Though arranging sex felt awkward for the pair at the start, it has now become their new normal. “We try not to go more than three days. In some seasons, like during pregnancy, sometimes we change it to every four days,” Gibson said, “but we always communicate about it and make sure we’re both in agreement,” Gibson adds.

It’s a smart solution for the pair but not everyone thinks it’s a good idea.

However, Ashleigh Renard, author of Swing and Keeping Monogamy Hot thinks scheduling sex can be very important for relationships.

“When you ask your partner for intimacy, basically you’re asking them: are you in a good enough place physically and emotionally to let loose and have some fun for a bit?” Renard said in a TikTok video.

“Usually what has to happen to get them in the mood is a positive shift that helps their overall stress,” she says.

“True. I hated scheduling, thought it killed the passion…and maybe it did a little, but the communication it created far outweighed the “loss,” one user commented.

“My wife & I plan. I didn’t think of this perspective but it cleared the air as you alluded to,” another user says.

Don’t knock it before you try it, it could help your relationship.

Close