If you’re used to getting a full night of undisturbed sleep, it can be a real shock when a new baby comes along. A solid eight hours sleep turns into a scattered six, if you’re lucky – and that includes being woken every two hours for a feed.
When my daughter was small, I realised I was late for a doctor’s appointment. I hastily threw on a vest and leather jacket, popped her in the buggy and was halfway across the park... when I realised I didn’t have any trousers on. Or a skirt. I was so late that I carried on and went to the local surgery wearing nothing but tights on my bottom half.
Parents do some very weird things when they’re sleep-deprived. Here are some of the WTF moments our readers shared with us.
“I opened the door to the postman after my usual two hour sleep to receive some very strange looks. After taking the parcel and closing the door I realised my boob was hanging out the side of my vest. I was too exhausted to even feel humiliated.” - Sarah-Jane
Netflix And Chill
“I once put the remote control in the fridge. I looked for it everywhere – it was only later, when I’d given up and was going to make myself a sandwich, that I saw it nestled in the vegetable drawer, next to some tomatoes. It was ice cold. Still worked, though!” - Anon
Lost For Words
“I forgot my own name. And I was genuinely terrified of people asking my son’s name, too, in case I couldn’t remember it.” - Kerry
“My husband woke up in the night to find me trying to pick him up like a baby. It was weird. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t just scooping him up!” - Stef
“When my son was small I thought I heard the postman ringing the doorbell – so leapt out of bed and was halfway down the road in my dressing gown to chase him away... only to realise it was 5am, on a Sunday, and the street was completely empty. I was half-hallucinating, half-dreaming, because I was just so goddamn tired.” - Anon
Baby? What Baby?
“My husband forgot we had a baby. Someone asked him how the baby was and he looked at them blankly and said: “What baby?”″ - Niamh
“A friend once took the baby to the shop in her buggy to buy milk, came back and handed his wife the milk. She said “Where’s the baby?” He’d left the baby in the shop!” - Cate
‘Take Your Kids To Work’ Day
“I drove to work and when I parked, I got a fright when I heard a noise. I turned round and realised it was my children – I had completely forgotten to drop them off at the childminder.” - Helen
“I parked in the Tesco carpark to do some shopping and left the passenger door open. Not just unlocked, fully open – whilst I did a shop and stopped for a coffee.” - Laura
“I kept hallucinating in bed that my husband was my baby lying next to me... so I thought the baby had swollen up really big, and kept stroking my husband’s hair saying ‘Oh, oh, why are you so big? What happened to you?’ I also frequently thought I had two babies and that we had lost one. I kept looking for it.” - Louise
“I once left my handbag outside the front door of the nursery. I drove home, but couldn’t get in because my keys were in my bag. Luckily, it was still there when I went back to get it. I told Kate (then aged two) not to tell her dad... and it was the first thing she said to him when he got home, of course. From that day onwards, she’d say: “Handbag, Mummy?” to remind me. And she has been the same ever since. It’s like having a mini P.A.” - Emily
“I once took my portable home phone in my handbag to a friend’s house. It started bleating because it was too far from home.” - Em
“I had an ear problem and my baby had an eye problem. The drops look similar. One afternoon, whilst probably watching ‘Homes Under The Hammer’, I grabbed the wrong ones and put ear drops in my baby’s eye. He cried. I put the ear drops in my own eye to see how bad it was. It was bad. But not that bad, thankfully! The doctors at A&E did some special tests and reassured me about my baby’s eye. All was well. I’ll never not check drops again.” - Claire
“I took the baby out of her pram and put her in the car then drove away, leaving the pram on the pavement. I only realised hours later – I went back, but it was gone.” - Charlotte
“I drove away without putting my brand-new McLaren buggy in the car. It took me about three days to realise what I’d done. I’ve honestly never got over it.” - Sue
Behind The Wheel
“I stopped driving when I had my daughter. I couldn’t trust myself behind the wheel, because I could’ve slept anywhere – on the Tube, walking, in the middle of a gig – not that I would’ve gone to one. I was too tired!” - Anon
In The Ignition
“I went for a walk with a friend to get a little fresh air and exercise. I drove to her neighbourhood, went for the walk and then couldn’t find my car keys for the life of me. After ages of wondering where they were in the buggy, and wondering if I’d dropped them. I lent down towards the car because I could hear a faint singing... I had left the keys in the ignition with the radio on. Lucky it hadn’t been stolen!” - Susie