I Met My Boyfriend’s Family And Now I Know I Have To Leave Him

"He just told me to be quiet and let his dad enjoy his birthday."

Meeting the in-laws or potential in-laws can be a nerve wracking affair. What if they don’t like you? What if you don’t like them? What if the love of your life is from a family that claps when planes land? The uncertainty is unbearable!

For one Redditor, though, meeting her partner’s parents made her rethink her relationship entirely.

Posting on the subreddit /r/relationship_advice, the 21 year old said: “I have been with my boyfriend, we’ll call Andy, for just over a year.

“Although I have been on lots of dates before him, he is my first ever proper relationship. 3 days ago he took me to his family’s house for his dads birthday family dinner. I was under the assumption that the only people that would be there would be Andy’s siblings and parents. I was wrong.”

Honestly? This is a nightmare straight from the off. Surprise crowd of people and they’re all your boyfriend’s relatives that you haven’t met before? My stomach is churning just thinking about it.

She continued: “I get very anxious around large groups of people especially when I’m not expecting it and I don’t know anyone so I was sticking by Andys side the whole night engaging in polite conversation with everyone.”

Fair enough. Shy people and introverts know all too well the importance of a safe person at a gathering.

However, what happened next didn’t help matters whatsoever.

“He’s a man, he needs his freedom”

The Reddit user said her partner’s mum asked her, in front of everyone, if Andy was her first boyfriend and when the user confirmed, his mum said: “I guess i can excuse it then.”

I, personally, would have left at this moment but our Redditor is a more patient woman than I am and questioned his mother on why she’d felt the need to ask, to which his mum said that the user was ‘clingy’ to her partner the whole night and holding him back from chatting with relatives.

The user kindly explained her anxiety, to which his mum responded: “He’s a man, he needs his freedom, he doesn’t need you stuck at his side,”

The Redditor said: “I have always been taught to defend myself so I started to say how I was sure Andy didn’t mind and ask her to not bring this up around 30 people but Andy interrupted me and told me not to disrespect his mother like that.”

Red. Flag.

She continued: “I asked him how it was ok for his mother to call me clingy but not ok for me to defend myself and he just told me to be quiet and let his dad enjoy his birthday. I didn’t want to create more of a scene so I did that.”

Eventually, the Redditor left the party early after telling her partner she needed to think about their relationship as she didn’t know if she could be with someone that didn’t stand up for her.

The user did post an update saying that the next day, her partner apologised for not only his behaviour but his mother’s too. She said that they’re not jumping back into a relationship but she does hope to be able to forgive him over time.

What the comments said

The top-rated comment on the post said: “You don’t want to be a part of that family. Trust me.

“If this is how they’re going to treat you the first time you meet, it’s only going to get worse. You’re young. Find someone else who respects you and with a family who aren’t cunts.”