19/09/2017 10:52 BST | Updated 19/09/2017 10:55 BST

Nadiya Hussain Reveals She Suffers From A Crippling Panic Disorder

'My whole life revolves around not falling apart.'

Nadiya Hussain has opened up about living with a crippling panic disorder, which she describes as living “with a monster”.

In a new interview with John Bishop for his ‘In Conversation With…’ series, the 32-year-old, who won ‘The Great British Bake Off’ in 2015, admits she struggles to cope most days.

PA Archive/PA Images
Nadiya Hussain

“My whole life revolves around not falling apart,” Nadiya explains.

“I describe it as a monster. Some days the monster shouts in my face, no matter where I turn he will keep shouting at me, I can’t get him out of my face.

“Other days he’s behind me and he’ll tap me on the shoulder a little bit here and there through the day and I can ignore him completely.

“Other days I can put him in my pocket. He’s always there.”

Nadiya also reveals she turned to her doctor for help, but turned down the medication she was offered because she was worried she “wouldn’t feel anything”.

Anthony Harvey via Getty Images

The mum-of-three, who can currently be seen on our screens co-hosting ‘The Big Family Cooking Showdown’ with Zoe Ball, has previously spoken of the racial abuse she’s often on the receiving end of.

She said: “I’ve had things thrown at me and [been] pushed and shoved. I feel like that’s just become part of my life now. I expect it.

“I expect to be shoved or pushed or verbally abused because that happens. It’s been happening for years.”

Nadiya went on to explain why she tries not to react to such instances, adding: “I feel like there’s a dignity in silence, and I think if I retaliate to negativity with negativity, then we’ve evened out.

“And I don’t need to even that out because if somebody’s being negative, I need to be the better person.”

Photo gallery 'Great British Bake Off': Where Are They Now? See Gallery

Useful websites and helplines:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill.)
  • Get Connected is a free advice service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email: help@getconnected.org.uk