04/09/2017 12:04 BST | Updated 05/09/2017 12:19 BST

12 Parents Reveal Why (Sometimes) They Regret Having Children

'I regret it all the time.'

Raising a child can be a rollercoaster of emotions - and because having a baby changes your life beyond recognition, mums and dads may sometimes feel like maybe they weren’t cut out for parenthood.

Now 14 parents on a Reddit thread have opened up about their regrets and why - despite loving their kids more than anything in the world -  every once in a while it helps to admit that there are things that make them wish they hadn’t had children.

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1. “A big part of it is how having kids has changed my wife and my relationship with my wife in ways neither of us could never have anticipated. I would certainly leave her, if not for my desire to be present in my kids lives. Oddly, I’m not sure there would be any reason to leave, if we hadn’t had kids.”


2. “When I see how ugly the world can be. How ugly people treat each other. How the future seems so scary sometimes it makes me regret having a son and having him have to experience and know the world someday. That’s the only time I regret him.”


3. “I never intended to bring a child into this world that would suffer healthwise. I love my kids, but I hate to see what they go through [my son has a life-long birth defect].”


4. “I love my kids and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But yes, I do regret it. It’s only every once in a while, and never because they do anything. It’s because I’m a selfish person who was by himself for a long time. I miss my alone time. I miss small things. Being able to swear at the TV. Not having to wait for the kids to go to bed to [have sex] with their mum.”


5. “Sometimes I think how my life would have been at this point without being a father, my daughter is just [eighteen months] old, so I’m still fresh.”


6. “My regret is sparse but still present. I had kids early, and I love them to death. However, I am just now finally starting to feel out what I might be good at in life, where previously I thought I would never have any direction or be good at anything I could have as a career. Focusing on creative endeavours is near impossible with constant attention required for them. Once they are in school I will have more time, but I feel like I could’ve had more solid footing in the world before bringing them around.”



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7. “It’s the alone time. I recently almost lined up the perfect scenario of being the only person left at work at our old location and having the wife and kids take a camping trip. It was going to be a week long bliss of solitude. Neither worked out. Work called me into the new location prematurely and I ended up having to take my youngest back from camping. I love my kids and I don’t hate my work, but goddammit, all I wanted was four days. Or even three. Just leave me alone for a few days.”


8. “I think every parent regrets it at some point. Not most of the time, but sometimes they probably do. There’s probably few parents who after a long period regret it at all.”


9. “I think that a lot of parents deal with the ‘I could have done so much more with my life if I never had kids’ (especially women) but I think people without kids often wonder what it would have been like if they decided to have kids either way there’s regret or at least some curiosity.”


10. “Only when traveling by air. Flights are so expensive for a family of five. I promised my sister I’d come visit her soon and I realise I’ll only be able to take one baby along with me. It’ll be a really hard decision picking just one and leaving the other two behind with [their] dad.”


11. “I don’t regret having them but I regret having them too soon. I was 26, there were a lot of things I wanted to do before having kids like travelling and spending my money on me. After I graduated I had kids so I never had the real freedom of having money and just spend it on things I wanted to do. On the other hand my life now is pretty good. I still have some freedom because I’m in a good relationship, we give each other our space. So I don’t regret having them, they are awesome, but the timing wasn’t very good.”



12. “I love my child with all my heart, but there are days - the ones where I watch too much news - and think... why did I bring another human being into this shit show?’”