Prince Harry’s tell-all memoir ‘Spare’ made headlines around the world when it was released last week.
While he included significant bombshells about his life behind Palace walls – including a supposed physical altercation with Prince William, his grief over Princess Diana’s death, and his fractured relationship with his family as a whole – there were definitely other parts of the book which have broken through into the public consciousness.
And, although it is the best-selling non-fiction book ever sold, according to its publishers, ‘Spare’ was not short of its more light-hearted moments either.
One of the most eye-catching topics of discussion was the Duke of Sussex’s repeated mention of his own penis.
At one point, he explained how he suffered from frostbite after a charity trek to the North Pole, particularly on his southern region.
Harry writes: “My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised. The last place I wanted to be was Frostnipistan.”
Harry claimed that a friend recommended a remedy: “She’d urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.
“My mum used to use that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger.
“It works, Harry. Trust me.
“I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time.
“I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. Then I took a smidge and applied it … down there. ‘Weird’ doesn’t really do the feeling justice.”
The section alone only becomes more surreal in the audio edition of the book, which is read by Harry himself.
That wasn’t the only story about his penis either, with the royal mentioning how he lost his virginity, claiming his genitals were a “matter of public record”, and once suggesting the universe might be “taking my penis at the same moment it took my brother” during William’s wedding back in 2012 (when he had frostbite).
Understandably, as this is so very far removed from the royal habit of sharing close to no details of their private lives with the public, this has stunned readers.
Cue the penis jokes
US talk show host Jimmy Kimmel included a segment in his programme on Monday night about a so-called “children’s book called ‘The Prince And The Penis’” – which he described as a twist on ‘The Princess and The Pea’.
...and the ‘oversharing’ memes...
Unfortunately, the front cover of ‘Spare’ has become a meme, meant to represent anyone who “overshares”.
...and the tweets about the audio
Harry does not hold back during his reading of his memoir – and actually braves a Scottish accent in one section.
He also sings Elton John’s ‘Your Song’...
And it makes his revelations about his penis that much more, um, surprising.