Granted, I don’t know what your type is. But I’m willing to bet that meeting someone who you can laugh with is pretty high up on your romantic agenda, right?
And it’s not just sharing a giggle that’s good for your bond (which, of course, it very much is). Recently, psychologists at the Martin Luther University of Halle-Wittenberg researched whether or not making the occasional joke at your beleaguered beau’s expense is good for your relationship, too.
The study revealed that: “If partners handle laughter or being laughed at in a similar way, they tend to be quite content with their relationship.”
But people who are afraid of being laughed at, on the other hand, are often less happy in their relationship. So if this is the case for your other half, it’s probably best to leave the jokes to a minimum.
What did the study involve?
The psychologists from MLU conducted online interviews with 154 heterosexual couples. In these interviews, participants separately answered questions about their relationship – sharing their overall relationship satisfaction, how often they argued, and how satisfying they found their sex life.
The researchers also looked into how the study participants handle being laughed at and whether they like to laugh at others.
They then compared answers from each member of the couple. “We found that partners are often alike with regard to their individual characteristics and also their profiles,” study co-author Kay Brauer said.
When those matched, it was usually a sign of a happier couple.
Why is this?
“Earlier studies have shown that people are looking for a partner with a sense of humour and who enjoys a laugh,” psychologist Professor René Proyer said.
Having a sense of humour in common is a massive green flag for most, and it seems that keeping the jokes rolling throughout the relationship could help to maintain its quality.
And your ability to take a joke is a key part of that, the researchers found.
“How people react to being laughed at differs widely: some people are afraid of being laughed at. They tend to interpret the laughter as something negative or derogative,” Proyer explained.
Meanwhile, others enjoy being the centre of attention and intentionally provoke situations that make others laugh about them, he added.
“Being afraid of being laughed at ... tended to have negative effects: people who have this fear are less content in their relationship and also tend to mistrust their partner,” said the researchers.
“This also has consequences for the partner: men said more frequently that they did not really feel satisfied with their sex life if their partner was afraid of being laughed at.”
Of course, the inverse was true; sharing a giggle tended to correlate positively to a more fulfilling love life, both physically and emotionally.
There’s a huge difference between joking and ridiculing
To be clear, making a harmless joke at your partner’s expense is great for your relationship. But unsurprisingly, the study found that jibes and cruel remarks were a complete passion-killer.
Couples whose sense of humour was more barbed tended to argue more. “That is hardly surprising, considering that these people often go too far and make derisive comments which can then lead to an argument,” said Brauer.
Still, if you and your partner are both having a ball, then keep those roasts a-cookin’ – it’s seriously good for your relationship.