15 Stages Of Having A Day Off Sick From Work

Can we come back to the office now?

Flu season is upon us and we’re all desperately wishing we’d come down with something that means we can spend a guilt-free day sleeping.

But the problem with sick days is that they’re never quite as fun as you remember them being, instead they consist of a lot of sneezing, complaining and self pitying.

Here are the inevitable stages of your day off work.

1. Waking up feeling less than ideal.

Throat croaky. Head stuffy. Nose running.

2. Knowing this has been coming for weeks.

You’ve just been in complete denial.

3. Thinking back to the stranger on the tube who selfishly coughed on you.

Obviously they are to blame here.

4. Toying with the idea of putting on a brave face and going into work.

But know you’ll be even more unproductive than normal.

5. Putting on your best pathetic voice to call your boss.

You deserve an Oscar for that.

6. Worrying that they don’t believe you anyway.

Why don’t we feel this guilty when we take a hangover day off?

7. Wondering if maybe you’re blowing it all out of proportion.

No, this is the end days.

8. Secretly being glad you get a day on the sofa.

We so deserve this.

9. Quickly remembering how terrible daytime TV is.

And there are only so many times you can scroll through Facebook.

10. Being bored rigid by 10.30am and wishing you’d just gone to work.

At least you could have had some attention.

11. Beginning to feel immensely sorry for yourself.

No one else has ever suffered this much.

12. This calls for chicken noodle soup.

If only you had someone to make it for you.

13. Calling your mum for some sympathy.

Getting nothing of the sort.

14. Thinking back to all the times you took your non-dripping nose for granted.

Blissful ignorance.

15. Vowing never to let the germs defeat you again.

Vitamin C for the win.