19 Tweets That Accurately Sum Up Marriage

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Making the decision to walk down the aisle changes your life forever.

Although we wouldn’t change our spouse for the world, we definitely would consider upgrading them for a house-trained version.

Here’s to a lifetime of arguing about which show to watch on Netflix...

1. Knowing Your Place

Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.
— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) May 28, 2015

2. Car Journeys

Her sense of direction is always superior to my GPS (which uses pinpoint accurate satellite technology, btw) #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Youngman Brown (@YoungmanBrown) July 30, 2015

3. Anniversaries

Hubby: what's the WiFi password?
Me: Our last name and anniversary.
Hubby: ...
Me: ...
Hubby: ...
Me: Seriously? #MarriedPeopleProblems
— Mary Beth Constante (@ehm_bee) May 17, 2016

4. Children

[out in public]

Me: A kid is crying.

Wife: It's not one of ours.

[we fist bump]
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 13, 2015

5. Arguments

I got in trouble for something I said in my wife's dream. #marriedpeopleproblems
— ;IGY6 (@usafjeeper) September 10, 2016

6. Shopping

Marriage is just texting each other "Do we need anything from the grocery store?" a bunch of times until one of you dies.
— Daniel Carrillo (@DanielRCarrillo) July 15, 2015

7. Cooking

Making sure I'm the first to ask "what do you want for dinner?" so that I don't have to be the one to decide. #marriedpeopleproblems
— Jeff (@Jul192013) May 11, 2016

8. Birthdays

When your wife says "I don't need anything for my birthday." #MarriedPeopleIssues pic.twitter.com/nyH7tYLqQQ
— Joe (@PhantomNuts) July 30, 2015

9. Secrets

The secret to a long & happy marriage is to have all your @Sephora orders shipped to the office #marriedpeopleissues
— Holly Weber (@Cheezepants) September 12, 2016

10. Compromise

Marriage is abt compromising. Tonight, she let me pick between bathing our daughters or vacuuming the floor. #marriedpeopleissues #SoccersOn
— Eric mahin (@Ercdawggy) August 9, 2016

11. Trust

It's funny how all the trust goes away when ur looking for the remote.
"Are u sitting on the remote?"
-"No"
"Stand up"#marriedpeopleissues
— MarriedPeopleIssues (@OnlyTheMarried) May 4, 2016

12. Annoying Habits

I'm afraid to go camping with my husband. I feel his snoring will attract other bears who will fight for territory. #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Yvonne Quesada (@yvonnedianeque) June 25, 2016

13. Responsibilities

Sorry. Running late because I had to find all the things that were right in front of my husband. #shewolff #marriedpeopleissues @WiggiWolff
— Justine C. Wolff (@Wolffsoup) July 16, 2016

14. Delegation

My wife just now...

"Honey, can you do me a favor?"

A minute after starting...

"No, you're doing it wrong".#MarriedPeopleIssues
— Stephen B (@bwlrbrown805) March 10, 2016

15. Achievements

My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it's going to get our kids into Harvard.
— momma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) July 26, 2015

16. Toilet Etiquette

#MarriedPeopleIssues pic.twitter.com/iBFnLuMhmp
— Brian Kachadurian (@toolguybak) July 30, 2015

17. Laundry

MARRIED SEXTING: I'm not wearing any underwear...because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times.
— Christie Johnson (@cjohnsonking5) September 19, 2015

18. Sex

Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015

19. Mistakes

Passive-aggressively complaining about my wife's behaviors, only to be reminded that she follows me on Twitter #MarriedPeopleIssues
— adam jackson (@rugged9292) July 31, 2015

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