Baby arrived and our expert exchanges rapidly turned to shit. It was frightening how quickly it deteriorated into utter chaos. You're pre-warned about how it changes everything - the usual guff about no sleep, no social life, etc. However, we just weren't prepared for how it fundamentally changed us as people.
A marriage is not a wedding day. When you've had your first massive married row you really won't care about whether you had live goldfish on the tables (yep, I used to work at a wedding venue as a waitress, I have seen it all, including bridesmaids and grooms doing unmentionable things behind the bins.
Last year I turned 40 and for my birthday we went on holiday to Aruba, in the Dutch Caribbean. I had been to the island years before on a press trip and had loved the weather (28 degrees all year round), the wide range of activities, and the interesting mix of Caribbean, Dutch and South American influences.
Whilst I don't know the secret to a happy marriage, I do think our vows, if we were to renew them, which we won't be - (I can't even organise a Tesco shop any more let alone an event; plus, it might require the wearing of something other than leggings... horror) - our promises might well be a little different from those we made previously.
When a guy stops trying to sleep with you, he stops trying to impress you, and that's when you see who he truly is. I refuse to buy into the idea that because he's a man, my sole aim should be to get him to pledge romantic allegiance; he refuses to believe that because I'm a woman, his sole aim should be to beeline for bed.
It matters if you buy a house, get engaged, get married and have a baby in that order. But it matters more if you don't. They are the reason my colleague's face drops when she sees pictures of her friends with houses and husbands on Facebook, while she raises her son in a rented flat with her boyfriend.