As I write this I am slowly (very slowly) packing my suitcases and preparing to leave Edinburgh.
I have two days to go till my 24-show run of my One Man show comes to an end and I am filled with a mix of excitement and sadness. Excitement at the thought of my own bed and the many days of sleep that will need to be had to recover, but I am mightily sad to be leaving.
I have had a wonderful time here in Scotland, and made some amazing friends along the way. I feel like I have achieved everything that I wanted to get out of this little adventure...well maybe not everything.
As I looked over my long "Things I Must Do Before Leaving Edinburgh list last night, I felt pretty pleased with myself. I have climbed Arthur's Seat, consumed a huge amount of Hagias, explored the fascinating under ground city and even tried to see one show a day...let me repeat...tried, but there was one final "Must Do" that was still left remains stubbornly unchecked the one which boldly asks me to "Find a Husband"
Call me a hopeless romantic or indeed foolish but there is something thrilling about meeting that special someone at somewhere like the Fringe, getting swept away in a whirl wind romance and then taking a huge, silly leap and just getting married.
Now I know what you are thinking and believe me I know how crazy it sounds but I still can't help but see the wonderful romantic side of the idea. It has that old school, fall-in-love-any-chance-you-get feel to it, that brilliant gush of emotion as you declare your overwhelming passion for another person.
I had crazy dreams of meeting someone, who would be a cheeky smiled lad who would whisk me off my feet. We would laugh and share witty banter, argue over politics and question each other's integrity whilst having the utmost respect for each other. We would spend hours drinking, seeing shows, exploring Edinburgh, all the while knowing that our time together was short.
Then on one rainy, emotion fuelled night (it always rains in Edinburgh), we would be in a crowded pub, joyful yet sad, barely able to look each other in the eye, angry that our lives were forcing us apart. "I need some air," he would say as he walks out of the pub, and I'd storm after him. I ask what's wrong and he refuses to say. We keep baiting each other, rain whipping about our faces, till he cracks and yells "I love you and don't want to lose you" and with that lighting cracks through the sky and we passionately kiss as the storm rumbles above our heads. "Well let's not lose each other," I say and with that we make a silent pledge to somehow make this work.
Now I know, I know, tragically romantic and totally over dramatic right, but I can't help but think that that would be just the most perfect way to start a relationship. A kind of "screw it lets just make it work" but the question now I guess is would it work? Could you meet someone a world away and somehow keep going and stay connected, stay wrapped in love. Would the loneliness get to you both or would you begin to grow angry at each other? Who would travel to whose country, and which would one would have to eventually give up their homeland to be with the other?
Both relief and regret fills me looking at this unfulfilled "Must Do," I'm enough of a realist to know the ramifications of such an epic overly romantic encounter but sometimes you just want to throw yourself in head first and take those risks, take a chance and see what comes of it. We often feel so hesitant and over think such opportunities but maybe, just maybe, a wild reckless romantic adventure is exactly what we need.