07/11/2012 09:08 GMT | Updated 23/01/2014 18:58 GMT

Boxing For Buhinga: The Fight Club Diaries - Week 12


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Boxing For Buhinga: The Fight Club Diaries. Week 12

For once there's no Monday blues (aha see I can mix it up!) - mainly because I'm on a day's holiday from work. I spent all of last week's tough training thinking about my three day weekend of blissful freedom. In reality I feel like I'm fighting a cold all Sunday and Monday but luckily lazing around-reading-munching- kale-chips-snorting-First-Defence seems to be working and it never quite kicks in.

Day off or no day off getting up for training on Tuesday is as fun as ever (do you detect some sarcasm? No really?). Merciless must be able to sense by the power of telepathy how much I am hating the early mornings as he appears to have found me a training partner. Maybe this will help the motivation?

Tuesday night comes around and Lora can't make it this week. I'm not massively looking forward to pairing with the boys again - I feel like I am nowhere near as good as them and that I hold them back. Also I kind of want to watch the Great British Bake Off final...but I don't, I go. I count it up and realise after this week there is only 5 weeks left! What will I DO with my Tuesdays once this is over? No man sweat? No burpees? No trekking across London? I can barely believe its 12 weeks as it is, where has the time gone? Anyway the fact that I've gone to each and every one of those 12 sessions keeps me on the straight and narrow - there is no way I'm missing one now. I said I would be committed, and committed I am damn well going to be.

I always seem to learn more and find my stride a bit better when I practice with the boys. It's really tough and no one really lets me get away with much so it definitely pushes me harder and it's much easier to feel confident trying to hit someone who isn't half my size. Night peaks when one of the team compliments my defence but says I need to "find my inner tiger"....I think that means I need to be more aggressive. Our trainer also says he thinks I'm better when I fight the boys - but Lora and I have too much fun when we're together....this is hugely frustrating as I don't want to seem like the idiot who isn't serious about it. Resolve to look for inner tiger before next week's session.

The cold that's been trying to attack me since the weekend seems to be hovering on the horizon again, I wake up with a really sore throat on Wednesday- and the thought of getting out of bed isn't filling me with joy. Of course I get up, put on my kit (starting to think I live in this damn gym kit now) and grab Petunia for a wet, dark cycle down to the gym. I have to admit Wednesday isn't my most active of mornings - after the night before I tend to ache all over and today is no different. But I get through it.

Tonight is my second session at the new gym - and also the one I'm going to be meeting my potential opponent at. I'm not feeling it by any means (see above!) but I know this is my last chance to find another girl and actually fight on the night in November. The evening does not go to plan. Christina (the girl who has volunteered to fight me) and I do some sparring and I am just plainly rubbish. The minute I get into the ring I forget everything I've been taught, I'm completely in awe of how much better than me she is but also it does nothing for my confidence and I just completely lose it. The fact that I keep punching myself in the face doesn't help. It's probably the toughest session I have had and I come away feeling so utterly dejected and like 12 weeks of training has been for nothing that I cry pretty much all the way home (Please do not be concerned at this - it really isn't a big deal - I cry all the time, I once cried at Carol Vorderman's 'Better Homes'...in my defence it was a really sad one). On Thursday I give the gym a miss- every part of my body hurts and I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed. I know it's not ideal to let this get to me but I think the fact that I'm tired isn't helping how I feel about my performance.

Rationally I know that this is a blip - a moment- that everything that I've got to achieve has just hit me in the face at 100 miles an hour and I just have to get up, brush myself off and carry on. There isn't a chance in hell I'm being the girl who gave up because she couldn't do it.

By Friday I do feel a bit better - encouraged by friends and chivvied along by sympathetic emails. I sleep in and forget to go to the gym but I make it up at lunchtime. (I also accidentally leave my phone in the changing room and have the lovely experience of having to own up to being the person who owns a phone with Harry Styles on the home screen. Yes yes I am 31). On Saturday I face the music and drag Petunia down to the gym, no one comments on my ridiculous performance except to say it happened to them and it happens to everyone.

I'm focusing on this quote from 'Finding Nemo' (you'd be surprised at how motivational Disney can be) "Just keep swimming...."

6 weeks to go.

About Boxing for Buhinga & Universal Chance

The Boxing for Buhinga event will be held on the 24th of November at the Grange St Pauls hotel in London. For tickets and enquiries go to http://universalchance.org/tickets/. You can read profiles of all the fighters at http://universalchance.org.

Universal Chance is a charitable trust set up by a group of friends who share a common desire to use the skills that we have developed through our careers to do what we can to help communities that have not been granted the same chances that we have whilst inspiring others to do the same.

We are dedicated to implementing tangible projects that will help less privileged communities and individuals reach their potential . This could be anything from improving education facilities to providing medical facilities or giving access to clean water. To find out more check out our site http://universalchance.org/ or follow us on twitter at @universalchance.