26/06/2015 13:19 BST | Updated 26/06/2016 06:59 BST

Why the Fantasy of Thin Keeps You Fat

Thin seduces so many of us with the promise of a beautiful new life.

We daydream about how fabulous we will be when we lose weight. The dresses we will wear. The parties we will go to. The appreciative glances we will solicit whenever we enter a room.

Oh to be thin. Life would be perfect.

Wouldn't it?

The fantasy of being thin is a complex narrative that many of us have been running since puberty. And it goes something like this:

When I'm thin, I'll...

  • Have more confidence
  • Be more beautiful
  • Be more popular
  • Get a great boyfriend
  • Land the job I really want

The subtext of these thoughts is: When I'm thin, I'll be happy. And it's that insidious little belief that keeps women stuck in a depressing cycle of diets, deprivation and dresses that don't fit.

Here's why.

When we focus on the power of thin to change our lives, we disregard the truth of our capabilities. We fail to see how confident/beautiful/valuable we currently are, because our attention is centred on what we are not. We are perpetuating a negative belief system that enhances feelings of low self-esteem and sends us running to the comfort of foods that will ultimately make us feel worse. And so the cycle continues.

What's more, our dieting beliefs, that certain foods are 'sinful' and that deprivation is the key to success, exacerbate the negative energy we are already experiencing. This exposes us to further low-moods and self-judgement that contribute to a state of stress. And guess what? When the body is stressed, it craves sugar and holds onto fat. And that's the critical piece of the jigsaw.

So what's the solution?

Here's a little secret I share with my clients that produces powerful results.

It involves creating a fundamental paradigm shift that moves us from negative to positive.

It's time to upgrade your fantasy.

Forget about being thin. It's not serving you. In fact it's getting in your way. Re-write your fantasy to the more positive and inspiring aspiration of attaining excellent health. Make that your focus. Energetically feel the difference as you trade in your dream of being thin to one of being healthy. Not only will your body give a great big sigh of relief that you're no longer subjecting it to restricted calories and punishing gym routines, the idea of being healthy is a lot more attainable. In fact, it's something you can experience right now. And that's why it's so powerful.

You cannot start living thin today, but you can start living healthy. You can make a choice right now that your next meal will fuel your energy levels and boost your vibrancy. You can live out your health fantasy tonight by enjoying a beautiful walk in the park after dinner. You can, as of this moment, become obsessed with discovering what foods make you feel amazing.

When you make this mental switch, the journey becomes as glorious as the destination.

Trading in your fantasy of a thin future to a healthy present is empowering. You get to focus on all the beautiful food you can eat right now. You get to feel the improved energy and passion that good nutrition delivers. You get to look in the mirror and see a more vibrant you. You are no longer in a state of lack.

This automatically creates a positive mental cycle that's easy to perpetuate. The better you feel, the more you select foods that enhance your wellbeing. That's the beauty of choosing healthy over thin. It all becomes so effortless.

So forget about the 'someday' of thin. It's a mirage that will remain forever out of reach. Upgrade your fantasy to a healthy now, and release your dreams from thin's cruel hold.