In a scene eerily reminiscent of the Mel Gibson movie Conspiracy Theory, I recently found myself in a cab being regaled by its driver with a litany of his fears and theories regarding 'the power behind the power' and the threat posed by a New World Order (N.W.O - so real, it even has an acronym). Each time I offered a counter-argument, I simply aggravated his growing suspicion that I too was part of the sprawling plot and almost certainly in league with the enemy. Perhaps I did not help matters by plugging a computer memory-stick in my ear and pretending to speak into my wristwatch. The same week, different cab, I was forced to suffer the ramblings of a Nigerian-born driver-come-shaman who tried to argue men could turn themselves into bats and fly because, he claimed, he had seen it with his very eyes. We never did reach our destination. Life is full of such riches.
Conspiracism is everywhere, fuelled by paranoia and fanned by the web, preying on credulousness and stupidity and holding millions in thrall. As creed and comfort-blanket it takes over where conventional or more staid religious practice leaves off, providing certainty and structure for fractured and chaotic lives. And it chimes with prevailing victim culture: the small man can always blame his failure and disappointment on the system, on dark forces, on 'the man'. Logic is never enough, accidents never happen, financiers are never fatheads who do not know their arse from their elbow. No, it is always a seamless web of intrigue out to ensnare the unwary. The conspiracy fruitloops are on the case.
For them - as with Creationists and the thorny issue of fossil remains - contrary and weightier evidence is forever dismissed either as a strategic red-herring or as part of the intricate plot against them. By their calculation, one plus one will always make five, six or seven when it should in reality lead them to the square root of fuck all. That grassy knoll in Dallas has a great deal to answer for.
Much of modern conspiracy theory has its heritage in the Cold War, in the 'Three Days of the Condor' angst and distrust of government engendered by both Vietnam and Watergate. Perceiving the enemy as an evil and omnipresent empire suited Senator McCarthy, suited the CIA and DEA as they jostled to over-egg the threat and justify their budgets. Technology has now made surveillance easier: it has correspondingly made the conspiracy freaks ever more fearful.
Evangelical religion too has played its part, for if belief involves a leap of faith there are always going to be those - unquestioning, flakey, small-brained and easily led - who leap just that little bit too far. There is pedigree here. Jonestown and Waco and Solar Temple suicides share a common denominator in their apocalyptic leanings and adherents who believe they are living in the end of days. Trace their lineage back through the Seventh Day Adventists and Pilgrim Fathers and you reach the Albigensians and Taborites of thirteenth-century Europe. And guess what: they too sat on mountains expecting final judgement and were wiped out by government forces.
Outsiders and any with a grudge will ever ascribe greater omniscience and monolithic power to the ruling class than it actually deserves. Me, I'm a cock-up theorist. I am old enough to have seen many friends and contemporaries gain the levers of power, experienced enough to have a healthy disrespect for their abilities and competence. Most of us just muddle along; most of us do not believe Elvis is alive or Mother Teresa was a giant fruit fly.
Remember this. For all the trillions of dollars expended by America on its defence capabilities and strategic communications networks, on the day of 9/11, George W Bush was reduced to borrowing a cellphone in order to contact his Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, back at the White House. God (or at least a gargantuan wicker owl) help us when things really turn bad.