I normally have texts to reply to, Facebook messages to read, letters I ought to be writing and sending; but sometimes I just don't have the brain space to respond. It's hard when you have a day when you're feeling low or finding it hard to muster together the motivation to do all of the things you need to and then there's being sociable added in too.
When I was first admitted into hospital for my mental health; I became a bit of a hermit, it was all too stressful and intense to think about any other aspect of life. I was attending to my needs and trying to get well; fighting the everyday battles, some of which took place in my own head. But throughout that time I appreciated the contact from my lovely friends and family. I couldn't quite manage to respond or get into conversations about how things were or what it was like, how I was doing. But I took a great amount of comfort from the friendly messages from the people I loved.
Now I'm in the real world, again I still have day's when socialising or getting in touch with people is just a little extra that is a bit of a struggle; or I'm snowed under by life and work meaning my phone is put to one side and ignored somewhat. The delight of replying to everyone, getting in touch but then getting replies and once again feeling a little snowed under is all too familiar. But again, it really really doesn't mean I don't care and don't want to talk to everyone, I'm just not quite up to speaking right at that second.
I am blessed with a set of friends and family who have shown me so much love and support, I have however lost friends who have struggled with my mental health problems or just drifted away... mental health isn't always glamorous or exciting and I think it's easy for people to grow tired of it. I realise it must be really hard to keep trying to message and talk to a friend who doesn't always reply, and no doubt a lot of my friends and family must have times where they have questioned why they continue to bother and persevere with me. It's important to try and hold on to the hope that your friend/family member will reply when they have the brain space to, and they will definitely appreciate knowing you are there, care for them and will wait until they are ready to talk.