21/02/2017 09:21 GMT | Updated 22/02/2018 05:12 GMT

How To Make A Kale Smoothie That Doesn't Taste Of Pond Water


Photo: Author's own

I think it's ok to say it out loud now, don't you? I've kept my trap uncharacteristically shut about this in the past for fear of being pilloried. But I think the Emperor has been exposed as being exposed now. So, let's get it out in the open: a kale smoothie is NOT a tasty thing. It never has been. We just will ourselves to chomp them down because we're told they will do us good and because bright thin young things on Instagram tell us it's all the rage.

Well, liberation has finally come. The so-called Clean Eating brigade have been unmasked as the snake oil charlatans they truly are and we are all allowed to eat grains/dairy/meat/food again. Part of this emancipation will hopefully see the defrocking of all those things they said were good which really aren't - wheatgrass, spirulina, quinoa, oat milk.... and the kale smoothie.

However, if you know my love for home-grown kale (see on my blog here, here and here) you will know that I'm likely to be predisposed to give anything involving kale a second chance. So, in the spirit of peace and reconciliation with the Clean Eaters, I'm going to try making a kale smoothie. A tasty one.

The challenge is that one can end up focused simply on masking the flavour of the kale with sweet things, which rather defeats the object of a smoothie. (They should still be healthy don't you think, otherwise you might as well just have a milkshake and be done with it.) Instead, I've gone for big bold flavours of lime and ginger to add zing and interest and avoid any pond water, iron-rich aftertaste.

So grab your blender, make a smoothie, raise a glass in consolation with your nearest Clean Eater and make a toast to tasty and green not being antithetical in the world of smoothies.

Kale, Pineapple and Ginger Smoothie


Photo: Author's own

30g green kale leaves

1/2 banana

50g cucumber

100g pineapple

10g fresh ginger

1/2 lime, juiced

100ml water

Chop the kale, removing any stalk and pack it into a blender or NutriBullet. Chop the banana, pineapple and cucumber (unpeeled) and add that in too. Leave the skin on the ginger and grate it into the blender then squeeze in the lime juice. Add 50ml water and blend until smoothie. Add the remaining water if needed and a little more if necessary to create a good consistency. Serve immediately.