Your late thirties are a funny time of life. Not least of all with the social pressure to have a fantastic relationship, an established career and the same body you took for granted in your twenties. Whilst, undoubtedly, your thirties are still relatively young compared to what they used to be considered, it's still less the decade of decadence and more the decade of maintenance.
However it's not all bad news - when it comes to looking good on the wrong side of thirty-five, there are certain things you only discover when the flushes of youth are well and truly behind you.
1. Style is more important than fashion.
There comes a point in every woman's life when trying to carry off this season's tapered culottes is no longer a priority.
Your thirties is that point.
Bring on the classic white shirt - making *everyone* look sexy.
2. Three-hundred pounds is not a lot to spend on a coat.
And with timeless style comes investment pieces. Long gone are the days when you'd rock a dress that cost less than your morning coffee - now the name of the game is quality over 'cause-it-cost-a-quid' which will do wonders for your wardrobe.
3. But tights from ASDA are totally acceptable too.
Saying that, there's no harm in mixing it up and adding tights to your weekly shopping list is a given.
No judgment here.
4. People take you seriously in shops.
In your twenties, it can be a tough call walking into a high-end shop and not be eyeballed suspiciously like you are about to shop lift its entirety - not so in your thirties, the decade when, regardless of the fact your still in your gym gear, snooty shop assistances finally treat you like you have more than an Odeon cinema ticket and a packet of condoms in your purse.
5. You have a high pain threshold.
Waxing, plucking, threading, lasering - with an age where you start to sprout hair in places you didn't know existed comes a new found understanding of the word pain.
And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, or at least very blotchy for an hour on a Tuesday afternoon.
6. Everything can be removed, altered or replaced.
Hair, boobs, teeth, hips ... to hell with it, put it on my card!
(said no twenty-three year old ever)
7. Smiling really does make you look younger than Botox.
But there's no harm in trying both.
8. Selfies are ridiculous and no-one falls for Facetune.
Thankfully, being a woman rather than a girl, means there's no need to compete with the increasingly insane level of narcissism that floods social media these days.
So, while girls are busy making sure their followers can see their 'thigh-brow' you can enjoy your forth cocktail in a Kaftan ... and the moment.
9. Age is sexy.
The French aren't wrong about that much - when it comes to sex appeal nothing rocks it like a women who is comfortable in her own skin and at the age she is.
Girly giggles or grown-up confidence - no contest.
10. Men don't notice cellulite when they're about to have sex with you.
Or stretch marks, or mum tums or that one of your boobs is slightly bigger than the other.
11. Diets and boring
Urgg, what drains the soul out of a person more than another month without carbs.
Whilst maturity does bring with it an element of self-preservation and calorie consumption awareness - there is also a deeper understanding of the priorities in life (read: wine)
12. You can wear leopard print.
Because you're thirty-nine and that thing over there is the f**k you no longer give.
13. And to be utterly ridiculous is far more fun than being utterly boring ...
.. and to hell with what other people think.