02/06/2015 05:07 BST | Updated 01/06/2016 06:59 BST

The Toddler-o's Daddy; A Sequel

Much like The Gruffalo was followed by The Gruffalo's Child, there had to be a sequel for the delightful Mummy alternative "The Toddler-o" written by Claire Kirby and so "The Toddler-o's Daddy" was born.


Late one night in the Toddler-o's room

He spoke to his daddy a tale full of doom

"No leave me Daddy, stay my bed"

"But why?" The Toddler-o Daddy said

"Big bad mummy" the Toddler-o cried

"scary scary me need to hide"

"What does she look like, tell me son,

Is she terribly mean and scary your Mum?"

"The Big Bad Mummy is terribly loud

Send me naughty corner, shout no allowed

Eyes see everywhere, has beady stare

Look at me and pull out her hair"

Later that night, as the Toddler-o slept

Out of his room his Daddy crept

The Toddler-o's Daddy was not scared

As he tiptoed down the long wooden stairs

He made his way through the toy cluttered rooms

Trying to see in the dimly lit gloom

He tripped on a car and bumped his head

And then appeared the comfy bed

"You're not the Big Bad Mummy"

"Not I" said bed

"She's just down the hall eating French bread"

The Daddy tiptoed on through the toy cluttered mess

Muttering and moaning under his breath

He slipped on the Lego that was blocking his path

When out splashed the great big bath

"You're not the Big Bad Mummy"

"Oh no not I, but she's somewhere nearby,

with her feet up, eating fruit pie"

The Daddy tiptoed on through the toy cluttered mess

Muttering and moaning under his breath

Caught his toe on toy made of metal

And as he untangled, bumped into the kettle

"You're not the Big Bad Mummy"

"Oh no not me

she's just relaxing drinking HOT tea"

"It's all a trick" said the Toddler-o's Daddy

The Toddler-o knows Mummy isn't a baddy

I don't believe in the Big Bad Mummy

But look there's my wife who's looking quite yummy"

He went in for a kiss

But "Wait" said Mummy "There's something amiss

after my day, I need wine not tea

can you be a dear and fetch it for me?"

The Toddler-o Daddy couldn't resist

And said "So the Big Bad Mummy does exist"

The Big Bad Mummy sunk down in her chair

And eyed Toddler-o Daddy with her beady stare

But who is this Mummy with hair so frizzy

Eyes darting everywhere making you dizzy

She opens her mouth, the words pour out

Over and over reaching a shout...

"I've been home all day, the house is a mess

I've been lucky that I managed to dress

I've been looking after our boy all day long

Singing and singing that same d*mn song

The toy cluttered mess, the Toddler-o made

Doesn't clean itself up, I feel like a slave"

"The Big Bad Mummy" mutters the Toddler-os Dad

As he scuttles away "I know what will make her less mad"

Mummy watches on, through the toy cluttered mess,

Lifts up her tea and starts to de-stress

The Toddler-os Daddy takes Mummy's tea

Plonks the wine on the table, says "C'mon tell me"

And so they sit and they chat

About the Toddler-o Brat

They neglect all the chores

And the Toddler-o snores and snores and snores...

Post first appeared on Life with Baby Kicks