30/04/2014 07:46 BST | Updated 29/06/2014 06:59 BST

Have You Forgotten Who You Are?

Have you forgotten who you are? This may seem a ridiculous question to ask, but frequently people do forget who they really are. For instance you could view yourself, and be viewed, as someone's parent or partner, someone's sibling or relative, someone's carer or employee, someone's companion or employer, someone's nurse or gardener. The list is endless. It is often the case that you are not seen as yourself but as an extension of someone else.

This very common state is generally brought about because you have low self-esteem and ultimately very little confidence. You are not always aware of this lack of self-esteem as you have been viewed in this light for so long that you have got used to it. It has become the norm.

I know exactly how that feels. I was brought up by my adoptive parents to be who they thought I ought to be. I was frequently told as a child that I should be seen and not heard, and that I had no opinion of any value. This led to me go through life in a daze, trying to be who I thought I was.

I spent thirty years of my life looking after everyone else's needs and forgot all about my own needs and what made me happy. The one very special person I neglected was me!

Did I change this situation? When I woke up to the fact that this was not the norm - you bet I did! It took some very hard work, beginning with changing how I viewed myself.

Is there a solution for you too? Yes there is. And the action you need to take is this:

• Break the old habits and thinking patterns that have prevented you from living your life to the full and realizing your potential.

• Create new habits, new patterns, new beliefs that will empower you and set you free!

• Accept and love yourself just as you are. This is the key to your 'inner life' makeover; and ultimately 'outer life' results will follow naturally! When you begin to feel great on the inside you will begin to exude confidence. Your circumstances will begin to change and develop as the inner happy you begins to shine out!

• Listen to your intuition. It is there to help and protect you.

• Be kinder to yourself - verbally, emotionally and physically.

I know how it feels to really want to make changes in your life, and not knowing where to start. My fears dominated me, my self-belief was in shreds and I had forgotten what makes me happy because I hadn't been happy for so long, although I hadn't realized it until I 'woke up'. I had become a shadow of who I really was.

With the help of life coaching I began to change the way that I see myself and began to think strong positive thoughts about my life. I started to be grateful for the life I am living and to notice the abundance that surrounds me. Everything started to change for the better.

Learning to love yourself is tough to begin with, but with help and practice each day, you will succeed.