13/05/2015 06:08 BST | Updated 12/05/2016 06:59 BST

The Conservatives Aren't That Bad....Are They?

Friday 8th May 2015

Oh, poop...

So the world has suddenly become a lot darker. Well, Britain has suddenly become a lot bluer anyway. I really wish I was here to tell you lovely people that Blue, the boyband, are reuniting for a exciting new world tour. To be honest I wouldn't be that fussed and it would make a lot of people much happier than anything about the Conservatives, which this article is about... Unless you're a supporter, I guess... You lot might want to look away at this point. (Oh look, a liberal constituency...)

If you're anything like me, you'll have woken up over the past weekend with your social media plastered with all kinds of political messages. Yet there was one post that worried me the most and caused the most trepidation; it was the one about the Conservatives repealing the Hunting Act. Which is definitely not a good thing.

But it's okay, because I found this in their manifesto:

'Our moors and meadows, wildlife and nature, air and water are a crucial part of our national identity and make our country what it is. So we care about them deeply, want to protect them for everyone and pass them onto future generations'. Conservative Manifesto pg. 54

Well that seems jolly good doesn't it! I mean, I know they're a bit posh and stuff but if they want to protect our environment then that's okay. There's no way they'd harm the Fox after that. Maybe they're not so bad after all...right?...

Oh wait:

'We will protect hunting, shooting and fishing, for all the benefits to individuals, the environment and the rural economy that these activities bring. A Conservative Government will give Parliament the opportunity to repeal the Hunting Act on a free vote, with a government bill in government time.' Conservative Manifesto pg. 23

Well, that's not very nice is it? What have they ever done to you? Foxes are beautiful and remarkable animals. They have been the inspiration for some brilliant literature, as in Roald Dahl's The Fantastic Mr Fox and Ted Hughes' 'The Thought Fox.' They have been the inspiration for Sonic the Hedgehog's famous friend Tails, inspired five Pokemon and is the name of a local football team. (Yay...Leicester!) So they're pretty ingrained into our culture, not to mention the species of a famous comedian, 'boom boom'.

They're also gorgeous animals; inquisitive and curious creatures that have evolved much like dogs. Imagine if we tamed foxes rather than dogs? I'm sure you've already seen this adorable fox in your net surfing sessions. I'm not advocating foxes as pets as they are wild animals, but this one is just so cute! Not to mention they're caring and protective of their young.

How can you care for our wildlife and nature when you also want to disturb it, chase it, hunt it, scare it, kill it and let your dogs dismember it? Huh? What's wrong with you? Obviously, not all Conservatives are of this mind and hopefully, the Blue Fox Animal Welfare group will help support our natural environments and wildlife, including foxes.

As for you hunters though...Perhaps we should introduce a hunt on hunters? Would that get you to stop? I mean, you can still dress up like that if that makes you feel better? We can call it Larping (Live Action Roleplay) if you like? It would make it easier to spot you as well. With your little red jackets and white trousers. Do you wear cotton socks? Bless you.

How would you feel if your mum and dad were hunted down whilst shopping at Asda or Tesco? Sorry, that should be Waitrose shouldn't it? If you were a fox pup waiting for your next meal, how would you feel when you realised that your parents aren't coming back? Just in case I still haven't gotten through to you, why not read my poem below:

'Fox Pups

tiny sniffling noses

and brand new eyes

never forget

the heart of Autumn

on your back -

muddy oranges

with just

a splash of white.

But beware, little ones;

when the ground shivers

from hooves and horns

and the air is full of barking,

when the earth is churned

to black thick mud

we are coming. '