The world is made up of poets and retards, and everyone's a poet, and everyone's a retard.
And everyone's on Twitter®, and many need to be unfollowed. Straight off the bat. Unfollowing celebs is relieving. You can unfollow politicians, models, dèbuc*nts, socïalites, scientists and performance artists. Not only you get to deny yourself of the mental agony that is reading their tweets, you also get to mend your following-followers ratio. That's basic tweeconomics: less people you follow the more intently popular you are at home.
A few creative people you'd be wise to undo with PDQ are listed below. All of them are verified so they won't get hurt. Verified™ people are rich and charming. You can loathe or be in loathe with them. If you want redemption just tweet "Sorry for unfollowing, @xxxx" to the relevant person. Even if you never followed that particular user before, you can lackadaisically follow them now for five seconds, and then joyfully unfollow.
1) Niall Horan (10M followers)
Reason: Exclamation marks, no new info, dopiness. His twitter handle has the word 'official' in it:
Billie JD Porter described it like this:
Are 1D named after Niall Horan's GCSE results? #hashtag— Billie JD Porter (@billiejdporter) March 3, 2013
2) Mia Farrow (97K followers)
Reason: She is in favor of child obesity:
3) Sheryl Sandberg (50K followers)
Reason: She's not really into twitter. She works for facebook. And posts instagram links to images of herself and Katie Couric knowing full well twitter cancelled the instagram preview, after facebook bought instagram.
4) Amanda Palmer (837K followrers)
Reason: She's a millionaire who couchsurfs people's houses without paying. And she's part of the arrogant TED Talk apparatus:
ZEITGEIST— Amanda Palmer (@amandapalmer) March 13, 2013
Also she's got a 1.8M followers husband who urges people to see her rabid TED Talk:
@nnimrodd did you SEE her Ted talk?— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) March 9, 2013
5) Piers Morgan (3M followers)
Reason: Retweeted this tweet trying to make followers think he's aware of his misgivings:
6) Alain de Botton (341K followers)
Humbleswagges in such a smug way that is simply ingustible, maniacal and basically unretweetable:
The trick: to extrapolate the maximum experience from the smallest, non-tragic mistakes.— Alain de Botton (@alaindebotton) March 13, 2013
7) Jason Calacanis (165K followers)
Reason: He stole the username "Jason" because he was first Jason to open a twitter account, and he believes the journey made from Brooklyn to Silicon Valley was heroic:
8) Carrie Brownstein (111K followers)
Reason: Goes to Adobe® conventions and then compliments everyone who went:
9) Susie Bubble (186K followers)
Reason: Her name is printed on a H&M shop in Oxford Street, London, and she went there to instagram it even though twitter does not allow instagram previews:
10) Jonathan Ross (3M followers)
Reason: Tweets the worst possible lines, not even selfie-pastiche. Just awk.
I've just been to the gym!!It didn't really help.— jonathan ross (@wossy) February 27, 2013
Also he tends to gasconade pretending not to mind people unfollow him:
@nnimrodd I'm sure ill get over it.— jonathan ross (@wossy) January 4, 2013
* 1st line in this article is a quote from How Should A Person Be? (2012) by Sheila Heti.
You're only as self-indulgent as your last tweet.— Nein. (@NeinQuarterly) February 21, 2013