Tales From The Middle of Nowhere (Vol.2) - Promos, Border Police and Pretentious Breakfasts

10/11/2011 12:13 GMT | Updated 23/01/2014 23:58 GMT

Yes comrades.

That gig last night was a bit odd, eh? It was good like, just not as good as the night before. Not got to the bottom of why, it just didn't seem to fly for me.

Never mind... can't be great every night, can you?

I'll say adios, or even au revoir to you Canadian people. Thanks for coming out, etc, and we'll see yiz soon.

I noticed summat strange on the menu this morning as I was ordering breakfast. You know sometimes they have specific kinds of pretentious breakfasts on the menus? "Power Breakfast" (for people who need more power, presumably?), "The Healthy Breakfast" (for people who don't do breakfast), etc...

Well, there was one on the menu which really, in hindsight, I should of had just to see if there would've been any obvious benefits from it. It was called - and I'm not even remotely taking the piss here - "THE FAST AND FURIOUS BREAKFAST" (for men that do the Haka).

Ok... the bit about the Haka is made up. It basically consisted of coffee... and that's it! Anyway, I didn't try it, me being mid-paced and content and all that.

We flew into the United States of America this afternoon, which gave me the opportunity to resume the never-ending battle of wits with the border police.

Rozzer: "What is the purpose of your visit, sir?"

Me: "I'm here to love your country and its people until they love me back equally... sir."

Rozzer: "You're free to go."

Me: "Thanks very much."

We're in NYC. The greatest city in all of the world. Not playing here until next weekend though, just a flying visit.

Two days of relentless promo. I've actually just looked at the schedule and it's ludicrous. 12 bastard hours of it!!! What more do you people need to know?

There's actually a thing called "VH1 LIVE BREAKFAST" at 7am, or summat!!! It wouldn't surprise me in the fuckin' least if I'm woken up by a film crew and some shiny happy presenter who's come to interview me while I'm in my full Man City kit eating my granola... I'd best check that's not actually going to happen.

Playing on that David Letterman show tomorrow. Looking forward to it.

I'll pass on your best, eh?



To read more of Noel's blogs, go to and log in.