Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere (Vol.2) - Return Of The Dread-I'

28/10/2011 23:58 BST | Updated 28/12/2011 10:12 GMT

Morning!! How art though? All good?


So... Manchester last night? It was great. Thanks for coming. The thing that fuckin' annoys me though is these "celebrity" Man United fans. Three of 'em - who shall remain nameless - blew me out last night. All last week they were "Bang up for it", the "Couldn't wait to see me", and all that bollocks.

Then one of them mysteriously developed "food poisoning", another one had "forgot" it was "half term" - whatever that means - and just to add insult to injury the last, and probably most famous of all the dirty reds sez, "Something's come up and I have to deal with it"...SOMETHING'S COME UP? What... like a little bit of sick that's been in there since Sunday? Tut, tut lads.

Anyway, am currently sat on the tarmac - not ACTUALLY sat on the Tarmac - at Manchester airport on our way to Edinburgh.

Fuckin' flight's been delayed once now already. We've been just SAT here for the last 30 minutes! What a fuckin' liberty.

And it's pissing down. And the plane's got propellers!!


GD. (Editor's note: To the uninitiated, GD stands for an online-generated reggae nickname that Noel has adopted - General Dread)

26 October 2011

Yes, Comrades.

How art thou? So... we fuckin' smashed it, eh?

It was a nice surprise, the HFB album going in at #1. Thanks for that. A proud moment. Commiserations to young Mr. Cardle, whom I met the other night. Nice lad. Lovely hat AND scarf!!

The big story of the last few days was, of course, the righteous Man City's total and utter humiliation of The Evil Empire. A result so shocking my 4 year old, who knows nothing about anything that isn't a dinosaur, said, "That's really bad, isn't it dad?" To which I laughed into his face and raised him aloft like a human world cup, until he requested that I put him down. A result so awe-inspiring that it rendered the 1st NGHFB gig almost irrelevant.

Was it any good? Don't ask me. I felt like it flew by in about 30 mins! I enjoyed it, mind. It did leave me with a bit of food for thought regarding the set list. All good though.

Legged it straight off stage to the airport where my private jet THE G-FIRM was fired up and ready to fly home to London. Had to be on top form at them Q Awards. Got myself a nice little Q ICON award and more importantly, and somewhat surprisingly, a blimmin' standing ovation!!!! I liked it a lot!!!! More of those, please.

Spent the rest of the day drinking and smoking my arse off. Which meant yesterday was spent on the couch watching the repeats of the total and utter humiliation of Man United (which was where aforementioned child-lifting took place).

I am currently on a high-speed train up north heading to the great city of Manchester. Playing the Apollo tonight. Coming on to Blue Moon. Should be interesting!!!



22 October 2011

Yes comrades. It's been a long time. Some might say too long. I say just long enough.

A quick re-cap then? Nah...too much has been said.

That was then, this is now. Some cat's still out there. Still doing the haka.

The rest of us have moved on. It's all good though, the glass always being half full 'n' all that... Cheers!!!!

So...where we at now? Well, we be at some hotel or other in the great city of Dublin, in the Republic of Ireland. The home of the brave. Preparing for the event that will be a pivotal moment in mine and maybe ALL our lives. It will certainly define the future as we know it. Nerves are a-jingling and a-jangling. Palms are sweaty already and the damn thing ain't for another 24 hours!!!

Been through this a thousand times before. Can't remember ever feeling like this though. I'm sure I won't sleep tonight. Too tense. A bad performance tomorrow and it could kill this thing before it's even started. On the other hand, a good performance and the sky's the limit. Either way, it's time to put up, or shut up!!!

I don't know why I'm putting myself through this. God knows I don't have to. Addicted, I guess. It's been looming on the horizon for what seems like a lifetime now.

I wish it was Monday and it was all out of the way so we could all just move on and let the future look after itself... I don't mind admitting to you comrades... I'M SHITTIN' IT... HARD!!!!!!!

I am, of course, referring to the Manchester derby. City v United. Blue v Red. The Rebel Alliance v The Evil Empire.

1pm. Live from the Death Star. Sky Sports 1HD.

Get on it. It's gonna be colossal.


Ps: Did I mention the gig at the Olympia? Onstage at 9pm. Don't be late!!!!



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