The Naked Truth Behind Some of Your Carefully Orchestrated Posts.
Is it possible to tell if someone is single from their carefully orchestrated social media posts or to say that someone is having an affair, just from following their twitter account? How about other nuances of one's life? The quality of their sex life for example? Whether their relationships are no longer what they make out to be?
And how about their career? Can you tell if a person is lying to us that their business is great or that they hate their job just from their updates?
The answer is YES and so much more...
Everyone knows what they share on their social media. What hardly anyone knows is how exposed your non-verbal behaviour is on that very same social media. And how relatively easy it is to speed-read your deepest fears and desires, perhaps even the hidden ones (due to denial for example).
This wouldn't be much of an issue given that most people aren't interested in exploring deeper, and even less for them to verbalise it if it weren't for the direct influence your behaviour has on your friends, followers and passers-by.
Yes, your social media language and behavioural patterns can and will influence those around you and more likely, not in the way you expect. The very comments, updates and posts you think are innocent and represent you just the way you want to be, only exposes your hidden desires, desperations & needs.
"You are single right?" I asked a gorgeous girl sitting in front of me.
"No, I am in a relationship."
"Not according to your social media updates."
"What do you mean?"
"Your posts are of a single person."
The girl took a deep breath.
"Well, we just took a break from a long-term relationship. Two weeks ago."
And that is just one of many things that you can give away about yourself.
While it's true that given my training, psychology background and my professional expertise I can de-code what people are thinking, and how they will act in certain situations relatively easily, there are few things that one should be aware of when crafting yet another post on your timeline. Because the right post can attract new friends, business opportunities or... get the attention of that special someone.
Here are some of the common mistakes we do when it comes to posting on social media:
The reason celebrities often post photos of themselves and especially of their face, is a simple marketing strategy: the more often you see it, the easier you get used to it. And the next time they'll appear on TV, in a magazine or a commercial - you, being familiar with the face, will be more likely to purchase the product or service because familiarity breeds trust.
If you are not a TV personality, then posting selfies sends a message that you lack confidence and this is a way to prove to yourself that you've got it.
Your friends? They'll slowly start taking their attention elsewhere, because even if they'll like your selfies in the beginning, they will stop feeling at ease the next time they come across your face yet again.
Get more photos taken of you during some activities you like. Your hobbies and outings or even looking at the painting.
When you add an activity, you take that forced attention away from yourself and diffuse it. Your friends then feel less pressured into liking it and they'll be only happy to like the fact you are doing something that makes you happy.
This is a message you scream out loud: "I am a failure as an individual, but look what a great parent I am!"
While your kids are the most precious things in your life, they are... not objects and shouldn't be treated like a bit of bling to show off to others.
When you share far too many photos of your children, you rub a paternal image in your friends' eyes. Subconsciously you make your friends feel smaller and judged. They'll start gently shifting away.
Get a life outside of your parenting obligations. Even if it's a photo of you socialising with your work colleagues or doing something interesting. Your friends are your friends and not your kids' friends after all.
- Baring it.
Be it fitness videos (exceptions are accepted if that's your public account and that is the way you get booked), or scantily clad showing off skin.
The message your friends read between lines: "My sex life isn't where I want it to be".
In reality? They start seeing you more as a 'sex object'.
For every semi-nude photo of your abs, body or legs post another 4 fully clothed. That way your friends are given a clear frame: your semi-nude shots are to demonstrate your hard work and fitness regime.
- Quotes Posters.
We all know you have problems. Yes, we do. Because we all have our own!
While an occasional quote is a nice reminder of a good thought or an action to take, the regular quote posting will scare your friends away. Because they have enough of their own issues to deal with. And because subconsciously, they feel uncomfortable next to you. Given there is such a discord between your positive quotes and the actual message you deliver: "I'll tell you what to do, because that's what I failed to do myself!"
One quote per ten posts, or better yet, once a month.
What most of us don't realise, that social media is a perfect representation of our true inner world. We are more naked in the world of social media, then we are in reality.
You ARE what you post after all x