01/08/2014 12:52 BST | Updated 01/10/2014 06:59 BST

Edinburgh Fringe Festival: A Performer's Guide


It's here! That crazy month where tons of creative, funny and just down right weird performers (myself included) flock to Scotland for a month of drinking, flyering and probably some performing. This shall be my sixth Edinburgh so it's about time I wrote a "A Guide to the Edinburgh Fringe" blog, I mean everyone else has. This is all genuine advice to make your fringe that little bit easier...

1. Edinburgh's streets are very cobbled, it's a major trip hazard. Thus, high-heels and weak ankles are a no no.

2. DO NOT gaffer tape yourself/a cast member to a lamp-post as a flyering technique - we've all been there and it doesn't really encourage people to come to your show. Also gaffer tape leaves a stubborn residue on your clothes.

3. Invite your friends to visit you in the second week, just after your reviews come out. Ask them to bring a stapler.

4. Don't flyer Paul Merton, he will tell you to f*ck off.

5. If you are in a solo show, things can get lonely, so, pick another unsuspecting solo artist and stick to them like a limpet. Don't worry, it's just for the month, it's not compulsory to speak to Edinburgh friends for the rest of the year.

6. Yes, there is a Ladyboys of Bangkok Show. Come to terms with the fact that they will sell way more tickets than you. Also don't write a joke about it - we've heard them all.

7. Avoid university theatre troupes at all costs (If you are a member of a university theatre troupe, sorry, you are on your own).

8. Don't buy food for your Edinburgh flat. However good your 'packed lunch' intentions they will inevitably shrivel and die and be replaced by take-away pizza/haggis/falafel and excellent jacket potatoes. Embrace it.

9. The Pleasance Courtyard is where all the cool kids hang out. Put on your best vintage garb, take up residence at a table and be prepared to casually throw lines/jokes from your show into conversation.

10. There is nothing useful you can do with 2,000 left over flyers... trust me.

Hope that helps! See you on a cobbled street somewhere at 4am!

Samantha Baines is an award-winning actress and comedian. She has problems with

dairy. See her at the Edinburgh Fringe in: Jasper Cromwell-Jones: This is not a holiday, 2pm, Just the Tonic at the Caves, 31st July - 24th Aug (not 12th and 22nd) its FREE and doing stand up around the place.

Follow her (on twitter not home)@samanthabaines

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