THE BLOG
24/03/2015 11:48 GMT | Updated 23/05/2015 06:59 BST

Spring Clean Your Ex Out of Your Life

Spring is here! As the flowers begin to bloom and the weather warms up many of us take this opportunity to have a "Spring Clean". Out with the old and in with the new! Usually this relates to a thorough clean of your house, a fresh lick of paint or clearing out the garage (definitely on my list of jobs!)

But I say it's a great time to spring clean your mind too!

It's easy to hibernate in the colder winter months, but now Spring is here it is time to take charge of your life again and get back on track. It's perfect timing for a fresh start and a better version of you.

Many of us get stuck in a rut after a break-up and find it hard to move forward. It can be hard to get over someone when they are constantly in your thoughts. Confidence and self-esteem always take a hit when it's not your choice to end the relationship and hiding away can be a good way of avoiding having to face up to this.

The truth is you can't move forward with your life when you are continuously thinking about the past. You have to cut the emotional ties and let it go. If you have children with your ex there will always be some contact however you can still disentangle your emotions and be free to live your life.

There is the fast way or the slow way to do this and you have to decide how you prefer to do this, rather like taking off a plaster. Do you rip it off? Or would you rather peel it back one tiny hair at a time? There is no right or wrong way - trust your instinct and make your decision. The important thing is to just get started.

The secret is to combine some practical steps with some emotional techniques. Read on and I will show you how it works:

Step 1: Spring Clean your ex right out of your house:

• If you used to live together in your house then this is especially important. This is now your home so reclaim it and stamp your personality all over it.

• Introduce your favourite colours and some new textures. I love bright green and soft, fluffy cushions so now I have lots of both in my home.

• If you have children then you can ask for their input too and make it a special place for you all to be.

• Change your photographs and fill them with new happy memories of things that make you feel good.

• Take away all reminders of your ex so you are not triggered to think about them.

• Move your furniture around to create a different look and feel to rooms.

Step 2: Introduce fun back into your life:

• Laughter is a key part of your healing process. The more you smile the better you will feel.

• Write a list of all things you enjoy doing, even small things like going for a walk, chatting to a particular friend or a night out.

• Make a note of the friends and family member that you enjoy spending time with and who have a positive and uplifting influence on you

• Plan and book in to see these people and do some of the items on your list of fun things to do

Step 3: Take control back of your life:

• It's time to be tough on yourself now and take off those rose tinted glasses when you think about your ex. Yes of course there were good times but there were also bad times that mad you sad and unhappy. Focus on these negative memories instead and you will soon start to feel a sense of relief that you no longer have to go through that anymore.

• Get some regular exercise. Even a brisk walk around the block will help clear your mind and enable you to feel stronger. If you have a lot of pent up anger or resentment try an exercise class or take up boxing. Find a healthy and constructive way to release your frustration and you will immediately notice you feel better.

• If you are worried about legal or financial matters then take advice from a professional. Just talking to someone who can provide you with answers with reduce your stress and fear of the future.

• If you are struggling emotionally then ask for help. Your GP can refer you to local services that can help. Or if you want a more practical approach then book a session with a Divorce Coach who specialises in helping people cope better with break-ups.

Remember that if you continue to do what you are doing, you will get the results you have always got. Isn't it time to get back in the driving seat of your life and create a life worth living? You only live once and on top of that... it's Spring. It's a fresh start and a chance to redesign your life the way you really want it.

Now over to you to start spring cleaning!