It was all going wrong for Boris, and yet he hadn't even got out of his German bus yet. But worse was to come. As the door opened, Boris leaned out brandishing a Cornish pasty above his head. Clearly no-one had told him that pasties, like so many iconic British foodstuffs, are protected from imitation by the EU's Protected Geographical Indication legislation. People often criticise the EU for being remote. But it is EU law, not British law, that protect Cornish pasty makers from being undercut by inferior imports. By this point, local Tory MP Sarah Newton was already talking about Boris' "blunder bus", a phrase that took off on social media...
Although I did not vote for him on Thursday, I have only one thing to say to Sadiq Khan: "Congratulations, Mister Mayor, on a large, clean and classy win!"
I'm standing to be Mayor to take that huge success we've seen under Boris, and make it work for all Londoners... Between now and the close of polls I'll be campaigning with everything I have. With your help, I will make Greater London, greater still.
Against everyone's better judgement, Brexiteers have now been forced to abandon all reason and double down on their hopes that Britain's festering xenophobia will ultimately be enough to defeat economic literacy come June. Politicians like Boris Johnson and Michael Gove have consequently placed every last shred of credibility on the line by attempting to disprove their own fundamental beliefs on the supposed economic benefits of immigration. That's a pretty risky bet...
Livingstone may have been the ugly icing on the cake this week, but it was a cake made and enjoyed by many others in political life. Decades of progress in race relations and equality are being damaged by casual and misplaced agendas. It's been a miserable week in British politics. I keep thinking, I keep wishing, surely we can do better than this?
The Tories and their media can be like a broken record in their questioning of Jeremy Corbyn's ability to lead the country. However, as David Cameron has already said he will not lead the Conservative Party for a third term, a more pressing question is which Tory is going to be able to take the reins from Cameron.
Munching down fish and chips while enjoying a pint of Broadside is a must-do when visiting Southwold. Even if your face is more battered by the wind than your cod is by the fryer; and even if you're soggier from the rain than your chips are from the vinegar. In fact it all tends to add to the whole experience.
I've never liked his politics, but I've always thought Boris Johnson had a high level of native wit and no little intelligence. His attacks on Barack Obama's intervention in the Euro Referendum debate seem to suggest both have "gone south".
Co-operation and trading on mutually beneficial terms are things we should preserve. The march towards standardisation and one size fits all solutions for a vastly disparate continent must come to an end, however. We cannot continue to sacrifice the prospects of Europe's young on the altar of this failing political experiment.
So welcome back Nigel Farage: the face of acceptable bigotry and daytime drinking. It looks like we missed you.
"We face a systematic industrial massacre" said the EU's Industry Commissioner, Antonio Tajani in September 2013. Over the last year his prediction has come true. The UK's steel industry is on its last legs, deprived of oxygen, gasping for air.
The point here is that the Assad regime has a very long history of destroying Syria's heritage sites. However with the ascent of the so-called Islamic State, the crimes against heritage committed by the Assad regime go unnoticed and it creates questionable euphoria when places like Palmyra are captured.
Last week's National Apprenticeship Week was full of discussion. We heard about the productivity gains of hiring apprentices, and concerns around the gender divide. We celebrated the amazing things apprentices have achieved, and heard from business leaders who are pledging to create more apprenticeships.
Hijacking the EU referendum and turning it into a proxy leadership contest was almost Shakespearian in the way that it shook his old Etonian confidant's Bremain campaign and overall mandate. And worryingly, it is only the most recent chapter in the tale of a man that will stop at nothing to become Prime Minister. A story that is far, far from over.
There's only one winner in all of this, and he's got quite the hangover following a weekend on the Pol Roger: Boris Johnson. The Mayor of London hasn't even had to open his mouth yet he will have the biggest grin. Brace yourself. He's ready to enter, stage-right, any time now.
Who else wants the facts? This time last year we were all in the midst of being politically brainwashed; watching the same old parties battle it out ...