Beards are not just a fashion statement. By growing new lines on your face, you are also drawing new social lines in the sand (see what I did there?). I'm finding I get much more respect from my fellow man, people seem to take my opinions more seriously and I don't feel I have to fight so much to be heard anymore.

Beards, in case you hadn't noticed, are back: Beard Affleck and friends But they're not just the preserve of handsome, absolutely definitely ...

I also want to raise awareness for women's facial hair. I will be posting CLOSE-UP photos of my upper lip as the dark army approaches. This will be extremely embarrassing so please sponsor me so there is a point.

You pay your money, stand in a field, and a man in a vest with a wispy moustache shouts at you for an hour. While this happens, your body is forced into all kinds of unnatural positions known to acolytes of the craft as "the press-up", "the star jump", the "run to the fence and back MOVE!" and - I shudder at the memory - "the burpee".

Ultimately, a moustache is a thing of sophistication, and maturity; of subtlety and patience. Remember, a moustache is for life, not just for Movember.