Surely by educating children separately we are doing nothing to address this second assumption. We aren't challenging prevailing discourses on gender essentialism; we are reinforcing them. We're telling our children that gender is a yin yang thing, you're a this or you're a that and whatever you are, you are not the other.
Those two approaches are not the only options, though. The best option is to allow someone to explore their feelings, support them in gaining self-understanding, and accept their identity whatever it turns out to be. It is not complicated, and it's only scary if you are still holding onto the belief that being either autistic or transgender - or, perish the thought, both - is a terrible thing to be. Which it's not. I am, along with countless others like me, living proof of that.
I think even the most balanced of viewers would have to agree that the documentary tended to side with Zucker's views, rather than the more modern thinking held by some practitioners of gender care for children. Indeed one of the key criticisms of the programme, from the transgender community, was the lack of representation given to those more modern views.
The problem with pink is not the colour itself, it is the narrow focus of what you as a young girl are told you can or can't like, what you should like because it has this one colour painted all over it. Pink was never on the Harry Potter lego I loved. There is so much more to a girl and to being the girl than this one colour appears to say.
My little brother says he's glad he doesn't have girls at school because he can't stand them. I politely informed him that in the workplace he would have to put up with girls. Very few professions provide single sex environments, so boys and girls need to learn to get along and work together. School prepares you for that.
Instead the new year will bring a different kind of new me. I will fashion a new me from actions and words, a new form sewn out of relationships and strengthened with self confidence. I will endeavor to look in the mirror and like what I see, or find something each day to like. I will try my best to love more, to love stronger, to be kinder.
Instead of only considering what happens if we treat the child and then that child changes their mind years down the line, must we not also consider what happens if we refuse to treat that child?What happens to the MTF child who is told she must go through a male puberty before she will be taken seriously?
My son on the other hand is new territory. Not completely uncharted, but definitely new. At the moment, he is a typical toddler by all intents and purposes. He does toddler things. He runs around, he throws his plastic cutlery on the floor, he seems to have permanently sticky hands, he laughs a lot, he cries a lot, and he finds un-silly things very silly.