An exciting story, and a poignant one in equal measure: a clear blue day, a reliable Boeing 777, and an experienced crew. Then, nothing. You've thought about the paradoxical nature of the story for weeks...
George Osborne's Budget announcement last week - a Budget for the 'Makers, Savers and Doers' of Britain - has sparked positive reactions across British industry, gaining admiration even from the sceptics.
I realised, looking at those appalling bingo balls, that this was a budget solely designed for the people who still populate Tory membership associations, manning their fundraising tombolas and passing around the tea and biscuits at meetings...
We pride ourselves on being WELL in touch with the hard-working common man and the kind of things they like. That's what our Beer'N'Bingo bullsh**, er, I mean bonus, was all about. But wait - that was a proper BIG-HITTER of an idea, a 'Gove' as we call them...so we've come up with some MORE 'triffic' proposals that hard-working, tax-paying poor-people are going to LOVE!!
The headlines following this week's Budget understandably focused on pensions and savings, with significant proposals announced that will fundamentally change the way people save in the UK. It was hailed by many as the biggest pensions shake-up for a generation, and so it is not surprising that this was the focus of debate in the immediate aftermath.
When David Cameron rose to power in 2010, he vowed to pilot the UK's "greenest government ever"... At least that was the dream. But fast forward to 2014, and what little environmental progress our government has made is being systematically disavowed in favour of industrial expansion.
George Osborne spoke for 55 minutes on Wednesday afternoon but, amid the bluster and the boasts, failed to mention the cost of living crisis even once. Instead, this out-of-touch Chancellor used the Budget to claim that everything is going smoothly, when we all know he has missed his targets on growth, living standards and on balancing the books by 2015.
The chancellor said income inequality is falling.. and, astonishingly, he's right. But he can't take credit for it - oh, and it's about to start rising again. So why did Ed Miliband let him get away with it?
It was Plan A all the way. None of the easing of austerity that fuddy-duddy old Keynesians were asking for. Everyone knows this is true because the Chancellor keeps telling us it is, and is rarely challenged when he does so. The only problem is that the numbers tell a different story.
With a budget that achieves the exact opposite of the objectives the Chancellor has set himself we are all wondering what will come out of the Ministry of Truth next. A Localism Act that centralises planning perhaps; or a Big Society that cuts benefits for the poor and vulnerable?
Do you want my alternative, semi-serious take on Wednesday's Budget? My brief analysis of the growth figures and George Osborne's new pound coin? Here it is in 60 seconds.
The economy is healing, but we need to cement the recovery by encouraging and supporting our great British businesses. That's why the Chancellor is supporting businesses that are making things and selling them to the world... This was truly a budget for the doers and the makers.
I'll admit it. I'll go on record and say that I wouldn't consider myself to be hardworking. If future employers or future clients are reading this, then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to lie. I am many things, but I am not one of David Cameron's hardworking people...
With the fiscal situation still tight, and a year to go before an election in which the Chancellor will accuse the opposition of fiscal profligacy, it was never likely that this was going to be a particularly exciting budget - and so it proved.
In his budget speech, the Chancellor said that he wanted Britain to have more economic resilience. The economic recovery that his polices are delivering is unlikely to achieve this aim.
After decades of pensions and savings policy being the 'Cinderella' of Treasury priorities - George Osborne today unleashed reforms for the thrifty that are bound to capture the imagination of the very voters on which he now pins his hopes.