In darker times, it can be the simple, almost imperceptible moments that can change a life as well. That moment when you notice someone repeating themselves just once too often, saying something which seems at odds with what they think... the diagnosis may be the momentous thing, but somehow it was those days you just began to wonder when you knew by instinct things were going to change.
Being 22 is sort of like being in age-limbo. You're past the year of "fake adulthood" at 21, and the world expects you to act responsibly now. But despite the snazzy business cards you now have, you still don't feel like a fully functioning adult. You have more in common with a 30-year-old than an 18-year-old now, but you're still in your prime! Below is a list of things I've learnt this year that you must know...
In recent months I have both graduated from university and turned the ripe old age of 23. By juggling a retail job, freelance work and the occasional unpaid personal project, I scramble through most of my days searching for the sweet relief of feeling "Wow...I really have my shit together!", before I pat myself on the back and give a double thumbs up to an invisible camera. But that feeling never seems to come.
Perhaps I'm overly anxious, a tad too cautious, a "goodie two shoes", "old before my time"...call it what you will; maybe it's all that people watching, or reading one too many classics, and maybe it becomes a bit of a vicious circle. Either way, I've lived 21 years inside Yasmin's head, and so am going to sum up 21 things that 21 years have taught me..
If you'd asked my 25-year-old self what I'd be like in ten years' time I probably would have had a fair stab at describing my actual life - house in the suburbs, couple of kids, some kind of job -but the devil is in the detail, and there are so many things that I'd hoped to be doing by now that I'm just not.
I used to be able to do simple things like get out of bed in a morning. Previously, the alarm would sound and I'd wake up, turn it off, get showered and leave the house. That's a skill that's deserted me; either I need to snooze six times to be able to face the day or my body hurts for no reason whatsoever.
My mother-in-law cured me of my spoilt behaviour, but it was a baptism of fire. I was lazy and incapable, and her son deserved more than the teenager who was dumb enough to fall pregnant on the first date, and who wanted grand things in life rather than knuckling down to being a mother, taking care of the family the proper way.