Before I went, I had a post in mind about travelling with two small children. It was going to be something wise and profound which would have people nodding sagely and thinking 'I learned something today'. Obviously I got more than I bargained for and so, much like the plane on the return journey, my foray into travel blogging didn't quite take off as intended.
Why is it that when you go away on holiday in the UK - whether that's to a caravan, campsite or cottage - all those boring, everyday things you do at home magically become fun? We took the kids to Yorkshire for a mid-week break last week, and we noticed a few things while we were there. Recognize any of these?
We're really excited that you're the new Mayor of London. Perhaps even more excited than you are judging by your campaigns. We're particularly pleased that you're the new Mayor because Lola's fifth birthday is soon and now Mr Johnson is freed up to come and do the entertainment. He seems like somebody who could make a really good balloon puppy.
In a pre-child life, if someone were to ask me what I got up to at the weekend and I replied that I went swimming and to the supermarket all in one day, the person asking might look at me as if to say 'and...?'. With children, doing two different things in 24 hour period is something to be proud of. Medal-winning territory.
When simple pushchair etiquette is not adhered to it makes me mad. And when I say mad, I mean I will be huffing and puffing, tutting and rolling my eyes, and muttering things about you under my breath. In general being very British about the whole thing. So to save me from looking slightly unhinged please follow these simple rules:
I've done a lot of reading up on the subject (mostly vitriolic comments on other people's articles - who actually reads above-the-line these days anyway?) and I'm pleased to say I've got it all figured out. All we need to do us follow these nine simple rules and we'll have this Being A Mum On Facebook thing all sewn up.
We celebrated Valentine's Day in our usual 'low key' style. Whilst we were all at the market my husband bought me flowers. He was assisted by the toddler who did a quick spot check on various options to see how easily the petals and berries could be detached. Most, quite easily, it turned out and we may not be welcomed back by that particular florist.
Check out that couple over there, having a wonderfully overpriced, candlelit, dinner for two, 'enjoying' their Valentine's Day? He trolls the dating apps under an alias and she can only orgasm with the lights off, imagining Dan the repair man who came round last month to fix the boiler. Don't you just envy them so much? No, not really? Exactly!