When you meet someone and it becomes obvious it's starting to get serious, the relentless quizzing begins: "Are you going to put a ring on her finger, then?" The engagement announcement goes out and everyone wants to know urgently when the wedding is going to be. On the wedding day the question shifts to when the first child is going to make an appearance.
My tenth confession is a complete embracing of all my imperfections: I'm an idealistic yet pessimistic romantic. I'm a health conscious periodic binge eater. I think I'm so good but I'm super self critical. I'm sweet but I'm angry. I am a bundle of contradictions but again, I challenge anyone to say they are anything other.
How do you grieve for something that's not a physical being? You haven't lost a relative or friend, or your dog that you've had in the family since you were small. You don't get the usual 'I'm sorry for your loss', because have you actually lost anything? For anyone who's been through or going through this then of course the answer is yes.
So suddenly making one life together becomes more than about managing your preferences like what you each want for dinner, or agreeing on how to make the best cup of tea. It becomes about merging your lives, and at the same time, trying to be "married". This is where we often find we have gaps in our expectations, communication and understanding.