Hubby pointed out once that there may be people reading this who are trying to understand what someone who is depressed is going through, why they are acting the way they are, and I hope I've been able to give you some insight into that. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but for me, this is how it manifests.
When I'm depressed it's really pronounced - I can go from ok to dangerously low to barely contained anger in a matter of hours. When I'm well, my mood tends to follow those around me - if I'm with people who are in good form, I'm in good form. If there's stress or angst around me, I take it on. As Therapist described it today, I'm a chameleon when it comes to mood.
There are many issues about sharing a persons personal medical data with other organisations and companies, some issues are big and others are much smaller. For me, it causes many issues. I'm not afraid to share with the world that I have a heart condition, caused by a lack of fibrillin gene meaning my aorta just keeps expanding. In fact, that's pretty rare in itself, admitting it can stop people wanting to hire me, because even though it's controlled - I pose too much of a risk.
Telling people I have depression and I take medication for it has been one of the most liberating things I've ever done. I refuse to hide in a corner. So I talk about it. Because talking about it helps me heal and it, hopefully, stops the rest of the world being embarrassed and treating mental health as something we don't mention.
Unlike a lot of people in today's society, I will happily admit to taking anti-depressants. A mental illness is just that - an illness, which needs treating. If I had a physical ailment I wouldn't think twice about taking the medication, so I don't understand why there is such a taboo on medication for mental illnesses.
Meditation is not always a discipline which needs to be practiced solely in a seated, upright posture. From experience, the mind can be silent in the noisiest shopping mall or the loudest party. This does not mean we just miraculously stop thinking. It is almost impossible to completely curb our thoughts, even for a regular practitioner of meditation.
I recently watched a film - a terrible film - which had an archaic, grotesque depiction of life in a psychiatric ward. After I recovered from the boredom, I woke up, wiped dribble from my shirt, and then started to ponder over it. It was frustrating to think that people who have no experience of this kind of environment may be influenced by such a portrayal.
I am staying positive on the whole - it's actually not that bad, you just learn how to get on with it. I have had pretty bad luck; I appear to have had every side effect going to date. I won't go into the gory details but had a week of staring at hospital walls, barely recognising myself, unable to do anything being hooked up to a drip 24/7 and getting more and more down but even now I look back and think if that's the worst, I can deal with it.