I hate that it's more or less an enforced binary structure - to be single and dating, or together and exclusive. I hate that there are plenty of people who don't actively consent to monogamy, who are not happy in monogamy, but through society pressure and lack of information, unwittingly follow the prescribed norm hoping for that illusive happy ever after.
In an open relationship you have experiences which are a rarity in other people's lives. You welcome jealousy as a teacher. You challenge what a relationship really means. But the questions that are asked and answered in the polyamorous literature rarely cover the topic... what to do when your boyfriend is grieving the loss of his lover.
Some people do have aggressive communication strategies, which will alienate others, generate fear and tend to blame others rather than taking responsibility for their own issues. But direct does not have to be aggressive. Nor should you assume it since this in itself can create a self fulfilling prophecy. Direct can also be compassionate.
There's a rumour going around, propagated by [some] polyamorists, that polyamory is a superior ideology to monogamy. Let's face it, 'limitless love' does sound wholly honorable and blissful, even if 'limitless sex' with multiple partners sounds ~ for most of our sex-negative society ~ quite the opposite.
What if you could be openly welcomed with both your lovers at the local chemist... what if coming out as trans, queer or poly was simply one of many choices during adolescence... what if going to a dungeon to play kinky games on a Saturday night was as accepted as going out for a curry... What would the world look like?
Being pregnant and not sexually exclusive is the ultimate challenge to monogamous thinking. There are even expressions which belie our patriarchal history - 'She's carrying MY baby'. Pregnant women are 'holy vessels' not important in of themselves but as objects carrying the male seed; so much so that sex during pregnancy ~ even with the father ~ is taboo to many.
It's a fact. Whilst most humans might have an inclination to 'pair bond' many of us also have a roving eye. At a biological level our most successful survival tactic is not - as the church might tell you - remain faithful and worship a deity in the hope of salvation, it is to breed with many partners.
In trying to fit their round polyamorous selves into a monogamous square hole, they will ultimately fail and repeat a pattern of guilt and self loathing which contributes further to lower their self esteem. Their obvious failures and misery are compounded by the disgust of their peers, parents and often even their friends.