On June 5th I emerged from the Big Brother eye like a deer in the headlights, wondering what on earth I was getting myself into by entering Britain's most infamous house. With a fear of the unknown, I nervously trembled down a stage with hundreds of strangers booing me and calling me every name under the sun as I embarked on the start of the most unforgettable month of my life.
"I Wanna Marry Harry" is a reality tv show airing Tuesday nights in the US, where 12 women compete to win the hearts of a ginger haired British man, whom they believe to be the real Prince Harry. In reality, he's a professional Prince Harry look-alike named Matthew Hicks, doing his best to feign royalty, complete with fake paparazzi, helicopters and bodyguards.
Many many years later, BA has come up with another one - a five minute clip which has forced me to see it in a more kindly light. In the tradition of the best (or worst as you may see it) reality TV programming tradition, the ad unabashedly tugs at the heart strings of immigrants like myself, tracing the journey home and how it feels to surprise your parents with a sudden visit.
After the first week's twists and drama, I was looking forward to see how the rest of the house would take shape without the shows former protagonist and antagonist (Michael and Sallie), however I can already see what is beginning to happen; the big personalities will all get evicted, leaving the boring housemates to last.
"Humankind cannot bear very much reality", suggested the poet TS Eliot many years ago. Well: I can't bear very much more right now. When I heard Kermit the Frog providing the soundtrack for a James Villas holiday advert a few days ago, I had my 2013 January epiphany. Celebrity TV has jumped the shark.
In a recent interview with The Underwear Expert, Tyson Beckford said of mentoring models on the 8th cycle of Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model, "Some of them, they think they know everything. You know what I mean? It's tough to try and teach them something."