As of today the UK is now over £1 trillion pounds in debt. Wahey right? Woo look at us finally hitting the big 18 zeros mark! Yeah take that America....
The young royals are a delight to behold - such good ambassadors for the United Kingdom with their gleaming white smiles, perfect posture, and impeccably tailored clothes. But, like a horror film in which the beguiling love interest strips off his mask to reveal an alien monster's face beneath, the young royal's beauty is apparently only skin deep, and more's the pity. It has come out, despite the Palace's "no comment", that William and Harry have been busy indulging in their usual sadistic pastime: killing animals for the sheer fun of it. We want more from the young royals than a photo opportunity. If they can't step up to become enlightened, respectful and compassionate role models, then they should simply step down.
So in comparison, maybe still acknowledging our Queen isn't all bad. I just don't think she needs a new yacht. Gove said the money wouldn't come from taxpayers but from corporations willing to invest, but hey, Mikey, here's an idea, why not get them to invest in things that benefit the country?
The whole nation has rallied around Michael Gove's heroic call to buy the Queen a big yacht for her birthday. It's the only sensible thing to do. While the vast majority of sane, normal people have applauded this fabulous and necessary idea, there have been some, union types mainly, who have pooh-poohed the idea.
Helping charities is obviously a good thing to do - people who do it deserve credit. People who volunteer their time to help others deserve more credit than people who get paid to do it. So which category does Kate Middleton fit into?
On Sunday, at 3pm, Queen Elizabeth II delivered her 60th Christmas Message. In this faddish age of rolling news and viral videos, the Queen's speech remains a changeless monument to a bygone era and this year's message was every bit as insipid, patronising and tedious as the previous 59.
In this past year my family and I have been inspired by the courage and hope we have seen in so many ways in Britain, in the Commonwealth and around the world.
Despite fears over the population and the earth's resources, there is plenty to celebrate about a world that has produced its seven billionth person in the face of the threat of nuclear warfare.
The Old Town in Margate has been transformed and this year the Turner Contemporary opened featuring a breathtaking sculpture by Rodin - The Kiss. And funnily enough - it's much larger than you think. Two great big naked marble giants snogging. And today The Queen will visit and she will see them.
Not everybody agrees, in the cyber-age, on the continuing need for a royal family. David Cameron's recent actions have shown that, in monarchy's best traditions, it can adapt and change with the help of a sympathetic political administration.
Come on, there's nothing more British than being a bit industrious and turning a few quid, sometimes just for being British. Hugh Grant manages it, and he's as British as jam tarts and visiting prostitutes. So come on Queenie, get with the industrial revolution and make some dough in that age old British tradition.
The Commonwealth stands on the brink of change. Put simply, the 54 leaders of the Commonwealth gathering in Perth, Australia, this weekend will decide the association's fate, at least for the next decade.
As Sir Bruce is now a Knight Bachelor he received just a badge (worn round the neck), whereas Knights of an Order of Chivalry receive a star pinned on the left side of the coat and a badge.
The recent clash of events over Prince Andrew amply demonstrates that royalty should stay out of business, and they should equally stay out of the business of Government.